Dear Romy, as you know my husband died much the same way as yours, suddenly without warning, no prior symptoms. CPR etc. You mention the magpie. Well, one also appeared in my garden on the day my husband suffered his heart attack - one for sorrow. If only there could have been 2 magpies - two for joy. Alas, not so. Much !I’ve xx
Dear Romy
I know what you mean about how you go over everything again and again. Gary was found by my daughter collapsed by the bed - too late to do anything by the time we and the medics got here. I can see him in my mind every morning and feel that if I stretch my hand out I could stroke his hair. I knew as she soon as she said she had found him that it was too late and I had to carry on driving home trying to keep calm but I just knew. He would have called me if he could. The only good thing is the PM said he would not have suffered at all - his heart just stopped so no pain or struggle. The struggle is what we have now trying to move on.
Like you I had been with him nearly all my life - he was just 60 as well and I am 63 -
he was 20 when we met and 21 when we started living together - my toyboy as my mother called him when we first met - and she told me it would not last - as did his mother, father and anyone who had an opinion. He made us laugh all the time - he loved and cared for us and was always there for us, his friends and colleagues. As you say life changes in an instant - everything you had mapped out or thought you had, just gone. I have two wonderful children who are a great support but miss him so much too.
I don’t know how you are continuing to run the business as well. It was four weeks yesterday and I cannot face work yet - and only want to really see family and old friends who will not mind how I am. Some parts of the day I am OK - and then it just goes - but I don’t have to tell any of you that as you all know.
I need to keep busy - so for the first time ever I am paying real interest in the garden - decided to paint one bedroom wall ( just the one as the other walls I still like the colour).
Thank you all for being here.
Trisha xx