The end

Maybe, this isn’t the platform to say this, but I know I will.not be judged. I don’t need to speak to anyone, or need counselling, it would do , little or maybe nothing. I think rationally and at times maybe I am over the worst, but I sometimes wish I wasn’t here, whatever lies after my death, can’t be any worse, the long lonely nights alone, going to the local bar, is worse, feels like I am being looked at, a source of fun , the lonely old guy in the corner with no friends. I would never contemplate suicide, but I do nothing to prolong , this excuse of a life. When Shell was ill, I worked bloody hard , including my job , on my feet for 19 hours a day, I would do it again, it’s a lot better than this empty life I have now. To anyone who had read through this thank you, and I am sorry for laying this on anyone.
Take care.


It’s lonely being on your own. I relate to how you feel. I work full time but when I come home from work I feel lost and lonely . What’s the point in it all when the person you wanted to share it with is now gone. I make an effort and go to the pictures on my own . I find myself feeling upset as I remember the times we used to go together . It’s hard to get used to this new life, we don’t really want it , we just want our old life back . Without my dog I don’t think I would have coped . Christmas is coming and it’s going to be hard for all of us . Sending love to all the poor souls who feel like we do and let’s hope down the line we can find a purpose again .


Hello Pete, I understand where you’re coming from and it’s tough isn’t it.
The pain that never seems to stop, the hurt that feels
relentless, the crippling loneliness that we feel now that the person we loved and cherished is no longer here with us.
I don’t look forward to the rest of my life without her and at times question if there is any point in carrying on but for now I am.
At the moment it’s not living, just existing.
I really feel for you Pete as its not nice to feel like this.
Hopefully tomorrow’s a better day for you on this roller-coaster we’re on.
Take care Pete, you’re not alone in this, I’m getting to realise that myself.


Hello @PeteE59 . I feel exactly the same - long lonely days and nights , the clocks going back making it worse . The loneliness is a form of torture , existing not living . But somehow i am still here , fighting on . Take care . Love Angie x


Hello Pete
I just wanted to acknowledge your post with kindness and compassionate thoughts. Keep holding on.

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Thank you to all, I hate feeling so low. Shell and myself talked before she passed, we both knew time wasn’t going to be kind, she made me promise I would be strong, her passing, she said, would be my cue to go and live my life, she said she had stolen mine, what with her ill health, obviously rubbish. But 18 months on, I do not feel strong, it’s all a bit aimless, but I have to get strong don’t I, stop feeling sorry for myself . Somewhere deep inside I have to find strength, if only for her memory. To all I hope we find this strength, hard especially at this time of year, what with Christmas, her birthday 20th December, second time without her for both .
Take care.