My dad died suddenly over a month ago now and initially I was in shock and experienced overwhelming fear. Thankfully that hugely raw feeling left me and I got on with organising the funeral as well as with sorting through the mountain of paperwork that he left behind. This activity has helped me feel some sense of ‘normality’. However, this week my feelings are very jumbled and near the surface again, as I face the funeral. Has anyone got any advice, as this is now only a couple of days away?
Hi Pidg, I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your father, it’s amazing how all the arrangements and sorting through paperwork gets you through those first few really difficult weeks, you will get through the funeral, we all do, I think we manage to get some inner strength from somewhere, give yourself permission to cry if that’s how you feel, people will understand, sending love Jude xx
I am sorry for your loss.
I felt much the same. Tragically I lost my 25 year old daughter sudden death. I was in a bubble for over 2 weeks with post mortem and funeral arrangements it helped to keep me focused. Just being busy that I didn’t focus on the grief side. Then after the funeral family and friends disappeared and I felt all over the place. I didn’t know what to feel. Gradually as the days and weeks have drifted by I am still sad and cry and think why did this happen to her and me. Some days are tough and some are tougher. Being on here has helped but if can be hard to relate to others who have lost a partner or parent, friend. But I know we all are on this path of grief. So I take a day at a time, go with the good days and the bad. Some days make sense and other days exhaust you from over thinking. I used to love sleep but that doesn’t come easy now.
Everyone experiences grief and loss differently so being on here gives you a vast spectrum of how everyone is coping.
Be kind to yourself
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Having lost my father, I can only begin to imagine how much more intense your grief must be.
Thank you for sharing with me.
God bless you
Thank you so much for your message. I got through the funeral yesterday, but woke very early this morning with immediate thoughts of my dad. Despite having held myself together enough to have given a eulogy yesterday, I feel that I should have made a better job of it. I now feel flat and the pain of losing dad feels so much more again. Has anyone else felt like this immediately after the funeral?
Yes, I experienced, that when everybody disappeared, you stayed to feel the whole pack of emotions. I think, when the funeral was taken I didn’t realised clearly, what happened. Some people said that after funeral I would feel myself better, but I didn’t experienced that. But I am trying to take one step after another, not to let myself go, in order to my relatives would be able to count on me, but it is hard to manage.
Thank you Apu, it’s reassuring to know that I’m not alone in feeling this way. I’m sure you’re right - one step at a time.