It’s been the worst 4 years ever. Mum had Alzheimer’s, Dad cancer and my sister died as a result of alcoholism. Mum died December 2023 after being admitted to a home in October 2023. Dad had been in a nursing home when he died in October 2024, for 2 weeks. My sister died at home last December. They’d lived in their real home, since 1972. My brother and I grew up there but unlike my sister, moved out, got other jobs and married happily.
Since their deaths I’ve been the one doing most of the house clearing etc, from the empty alcohol bottles (180 last count) to the beloved family items. Now it’s all done and the house is up for sale. We think in fact that there’s a buyer.
I went down today, into a tidy but “depersonalised” house that looks wonderful on the advert. The for sale sign though just did it. I couldn’t stop crying, came home, curled up in a ball on the bedroom floor and sobbed! My poor husband.
My head is saying this sale is all for the best, I’m mentally exhausted. I’m almost frightened to go forward though, when the house is gone - it’s ok saying “oh you’ve got your memories” but I’m so mixed up 
That’s such a lot to cope with, @Daphne6 - no wonder you’re so exhausted. Please do be gentle with yourself 
Thanks for your support. I don’t want to appear rude, but what does “be gentle” with yourself mean? It sounds a bit like “be kind to yourself” & I’ve no idea what that means either.
You don’t appear rude 
I meant in the sense that it’s understandable you’re feeling so mixed up and exhausted. Often, I read posts from members where it feels like there’s a conflict in what they believe they should be feeling, or what someone else thinks they should be, versus how they’re actually feeling. When grief in itself is hard work, even without all the practical stuff that comes with it.
So when I say be gentle with yourself, I guess I mean it as a reminder that what you’re feeling is valid and understandable, and to give yourself some grace for coping with it.
I hope that helps explain a little? Apologies if it’s not helpful right now or if I’ve misread.
Take care
Seaneen
That really helped, thank you