The last time i saw my mum

I lost my mum Nov 2017 and i seem to be thinking about my mum more than ever. She is constantly in my thoughts anyway and majority of those thoughts are good memories. Lately i cant stop thinking about the last time i saw her which was when she had just passed and the days leading up to it. I even had a dream the other night about my mum dying again. I never want to stop thinking about my mum i just want to remember the good memories more than the bad.
Is this likely to happen over time?

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I think it does happen, Andy, we just have to have the patience to wait.


Hi andy
I think the problem is that most of us on this site have lost our mums in the last 6months or so we are still in the early days of grief and that’s why you havent had many responses to your post.
I am suffering terribly still 7 months after my mums sudden death but I really hope things are better when I’m at the 2 year mark like you are.
I think the truth us that I will always be heartbroken and she will always be constantly on my mind.
How are you feeling at the moment?

I lost my mum in 1981 it does get easier and you do remember the good times more than the bad! The thing I find hard is I can’t hear her voice or her laugh! I lost my dad in September and I want to just keep hearing him for as long as I can! Grief comes in many stages and we should all take it slowly be patient and don’t try to rush

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I’m ones of those who lost their mum fairly recently last August so I’m hoping that things will settle down in time. It is probably not a surprise to hear that I think about her every day. I too think about the days leading up to her death but try to avoid the day itself if I can and I expect I’ll be thinking like this for the foreseeable future. She will be forever part of my daily life as is I’m sure the case for you and your mum. I really want the good memories to dominate my mind but it’s a struggle right now.
So in answer to your question, my honest thought is that it will happen over time. I don’t think there is anything wrong in thinking about the past and it’s to be expected. I’m a bit of a daydreamer so I find it all too easy!

Thanks for your reply Cheryl and sorry for your loss which is still relatively recent.
Majority of the time i am good especially when i am busy, i like to do some fundraising in my mums memory like cake sales, tea parties and walks to raise money for Dementia/Alzheimers uk. i feel im doing something positive and it helps when im feeling down.
I do think about her everyday and her birthdays and the anniversary of her death is always hard but i do have family support and i know it will get easier.

Thankyou MaryL
i know you are right, it will get easier in time i just need someone else to tell me that sometimes
Best wishes

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Thanks andy.
Its hopeful to see that things will get better but I think it’s important to accept that we will never accept our loss and will think about them all the time.
I always knew I would never cope well when she went, just didnt realise it would be yet and so suddenly

So sorry for the loss of both your mum and dad. I have phtos of my mum around my house so i make sure i look at her everyday, i also light a candle for her every event like christmas and birthdays. I can still hear her voice and i want to hold on to it as long as possible. Its helping me being on here and seeing what everyone else say.

I only joined the group Wednesday and I’m finding it really helpful. I was only 15 when we lost mum and the difference in my grief this time is massive! I have photos and such good memories of my childhood it was so happy and filled with so much love. Dad was a dementia sufferer so we’re we robbed of him little by liitle but even to the end he was still in there with the roll of his eyes and cheeky smile :heart_eyes: I just miss him so very much

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Thankyou Shaun, my sincere condolences for your recent loss. i do try to make sure that my mum is forever part of my life somehow as i think its important to talk about her and i want my two girls to remember her. Although my memories lately have been dominated more by the not so nice end of life memories i have of my mum i agree with you in that i am sure the lovely beautiful memories with gradually overtake and dominate.

Hello again, Andy,
You have two lovely girls, I looked at your profile :slight_smile: I wasn’t being nosy, it was the fact that your name could be male or female. I really feel for you, my husband passed away 5 months ago. we had been married for 59 years, I found him on our bedroom floor. To say that I miss him is the understatement of the year, it is an awful experience when you lose your parents. I am a firm believer in the afterlife and I am convinced that I shall meet up with my loved ones when the time is right. This conviction brings me great comfort and I hope that you have the same.
Take care and welcome to this wonderful group of people.

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