The loss of my mum

Losing a parent
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It was my mums funeral last week, she passed away 3 weeks ago, i cant eat proper, sleep, i feel like i will never get over it x

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Hello @Shaza2,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Seaneen

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I am so sorry, for your loss, i lost my mum 3 weeks to sepsis, i am going out my mind with grief, dont know how to cope, no esting or sleeping well, its just horrible

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Hi @Shaza2,

Your loss is so recent, and although it may feel that you’re going out of your mind, I just want to reassure you that the feelings you’re describing are normal. You might find our support page on the physical symptoms of grief helpful to read.

Take good care,
Seaneen

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Hi everyone. So sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my mum in May aged 90. I lived with her for over 50 years. I never thought I would get through. But we do. We have to go on and as difficult as it is, it does start to get a little better. The rawness eases a little, and it gets a little less painful. I still cry, often. Last night I just broke down in the kitchen while washing up, thinking “she’ll never come through the lounge door again”. It just hits you at any time. Just know she will be free from pain, and guiding us in our lives. I am sure they can hear us and are looking out for us. Speak to her out loud, I do, and I find it helps. I’ve read that they will send us signs, and I feel that I have had some come through. Just be grateful for having such a beautiful mum and that she wouldn’t want you to be sad now. There is no easy way to get through it. All I can say is that since I lost my mum in May, the days and weeks have continued (as they do!) and I’m still surviving, even though it is totally rubbish some days. xxx

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Its the worse pain ever, got palpatations, anxiety dont want go anywere, or do anything, feel i could should have spotted she was ill, she had a cough i told staff at home, and few hours later, she was in hospital witn sepsis, i cant get over a cough cam lead to that, she was only 76 x

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Try to take it easy. It is very very early days for you in grief. You will feel every emotion, and you will feel guilt, this is typical. My mum passed in May, she had developed a cold and I didn’t visit her care home for a week and felt dreadful. They didn’t do anything and when I asked that she see a doctor, it was basically too late I think. Her oxygen has dropped considerably, and I think she was basically gasping for air, and I felt awful that I hadn’t done more. It comes with the grief. Don’t ever blame yourself. It’s not your fault these things happen in life. Our elderly parents are so vulnerable. I’m sure she knew you would have done anything for her. She is at peace now, and can look down over you and guide you on. Stay strong. It will get a little easier with time. Do you have friends or family you can talk with? xx

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Thank you the nights are worse, keep waking up feeling guilty anout evrrything, even down to lottle things like giving roses out at grave didny but enough for everyone. Feel like im not in control of my thoughts and decisions and how am i going to cope in the future with out my mum x

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You will find the strength. I didn’t think I could either, but the days and weeks progress, you do find things get a tiny bit easier. xx

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Thabk you, i had a wake up call up today. how neglected i have been to myself I have lost weight, developed a water infection, i was having chest pains with anxiety, i realise i am going to be ill, punishing my self, blaming myself. My mum would go mad if she new what i was doing, just feel so sad, i will never see her again x