The loss of my wife on 3rd of January

I lost my wife very unexpectedly on the 3rd of January,we were still getting messages wishing us a happy New year, since then we’ve had all the horrible paperwork that goes with this to do my son and daughter have been great,then the funeral etc then more sorting out of banks building society pension vehicle council tax mobile phone etc,the hour’s spent on the phone waiting for the call to be answered then going through the options to find out Which one is the right one only to find that it was the wrong one and then waiting to be connected to the right department, absolutely crazy, but I’m dreading march, the 2nd of march would of been Nessa’s birthday, son’s birthday on the 4th and our 47th wedding anniversary on the 19th,All our plans of retirement and spending more time in the motorhome and going wherever we wanted etc all gone in a moment,her least word’s we’re Steve i don’t feel well,Love you Ness and missing you some much, Steve


Sorry for your loss Ronald,
Im at the same stage you are. My Susan died on the 6th of January.
The paperwork has been a complete nightmare and at first overwhelming. Dealing with it, but not wanting or feeling like doing it.
Thinking that you are near the end of it then something else pops up.
Susan was in palliative care at home, so we both knew what was coming and were very open with each other about it, but nothing prepares you for the final day.
I do believe life goes on and like you, im dreading all of the forthcoming anniversaries.

I’m 12 months into this and totally understand how you guys are feeling, I lost Joan to a cardiac arrest, there was no time to talk and our 40 odd year marriage was over in the blink of an eye.
Sorting all of the paperwork out is a nightmare, I was in the middle of sorting out the pensions also, in the early weeks I was numb but the paperwork gave me a task that I knew had to be done.
Once it was done the full amount of grief hit me and to this day I feel that Joan left me behind and wish I could have gone with her.
The grief comes in waves, it can last for days or minutes and all you can do is try to survive until it passes, I usually go for a walk to distract myself.
Be aware that most people haven’t got a clue what it feels like to lose your life partner and many of us blokes do not do well when we lose our girls so try to look after yourselves as best you can.
Best wishes.

I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my wife 11 weeks ago suddenly, she was 47. Dealing with the administration side of things is exhausting. There was no will in place so everything is going through probate and her bank accounts have been frozen. I receive at least one letter a day from various companies saying direct debits etc have been cancelled and I have to phone them to explain the situation. Some have been very understanding and supportive others have been very intrusive asking for copies of the death certificate and details of the solicitors who are dealing with the probate. I find it hard having to explain the situation over and over again to some faceless person on the other end of the phone.

This is something I to am having to face and don’t know where to start. I have been putting it all off, as if I am in denial, endless letters about direct debits failed. There was no will or estate etc. We have 4 children together so I am administrator on their behalf. How does anyone do this and find that inner strength as I am struggling.

I lost my husband 7 months ago 67 cancer only lived 8 weeks after the diagnosis been together :heart: 40 years…i feel i have spent so so much time on paperwork endless phone calls it is totally crazy im in probate at the moment think its been 4 months now there has got to be an easier way to sort thingsvout were all in total grief cant function tired empty sad i cant say im feeling any better than i was when he passed away it has drained me…my thoughts are with you all so take small steps try not let it all overwhelme you even iff u sort one thing a day itsvone less thing to do tomorrow…love and peace

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I know how you feel. I lost my husband on 4th January after 44 years of marriage. We had no time to prepare for his passing, so i had no clue about anything. Its right that sorting all the paperwork gives you a focus. The worst bit for me was that Jims birthday was 7th January. That was dreadful. Ive never felt so alone. Im just taking it one day at a time, but im getting there. I promised Jim that i would carry on after he went, and I fully intend to keep that promise.

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So sorry about jims passing you sound like your coping ok its so so hard especially right by his bithday take good care and try get lots off rest …thinking off u x

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Going back to your post steve…when i registered kevs death they asked ‘how many copies off the death certificate do you want ?’ I thought strange question…hadnt a clue everyone wanted a copy …and the 'original please …crasy goid luck hun it takes some sorted out