The Love of My Life Has Gone

I lost the love of my life in May this year…and I’m struggling. The thought of spending the rest of my life without him is too much to cope with. Sometimes it feels if he’s out there and I’m waiting for him to come home, other times I feel so lost and alone. He was my soulmate, the love of my life and I was his. I have a number of medical problems and he was by side through everything, we never did anything without each other… its just the way were… And now… I just don’t know what to do…

Hi. I am so sorry to hear of your bereavement. But I suspect you may have had enough platitudes already. You have come to the right place. Everyone on here knows how you feel and is going through the same process of grief. I doubt, at the moment, there’s a lot I can say to ease the pain. Bereavement is a life trauma and, as such, takes time to resolve.
You will never forget, of course not, but if you read the kind posts on here you will see how others have coped at this trying time. Everyone suffers in their own way because grief, although universal, is expressed in individual ways. But you are not alone in this pain.
Bless you and take care. Come back and talk. We listen, and you may get a little help and comfort by being here as I have. Blessings.

Hi, I feel your grief, pain, loss, emptiness.
My husband of almost 41yrs passed on 23rd of June this year.
We are still waiting for the corners report. He left the house on a Saturday morning 8.05 am and his body found on the beach at 7.30pm Sunday.
He was the love of my life.
But I found out on the 19th he had been having a affair for 6yrs and phone calls for 3yrs previously.
I suspected for a years but he always denied it.
Then I found evidence, he was broken with shame and guilt.
He could not look at me or our 3 adult daughters.
I loved/ love him. I am in shock and traumatised.
Out life changed in 4 days.

Hi Siusaidh, your story is a mirror of mine i lost my lovely phil in march this year after a short illness like you iam totally struggling we were a couple for 42 years . i cannot believe i will never see him again its totally unreal and overwhelming i cry at the drop of a hat some say thats the healing bit but my God i feel i will never get over this i have no family and every day is a drag trying to stay positive and busy the positive bit is a day nearer to seeing him again ** How mad is that**I really feel your pain and theres not much to say about it except keep talking on this site .K.T.

Hi Bev. I’m so glad you came on here. There was a post some time ago about this very thing. A wife finding her husband was having an affair before his death.
Please don’t allow this discovery to influence your love, although I doubt it will. Your love was maybe more precious to him than you know.
We go off the rails many times, we all do. Maybe not having affairs, but in many other ways.
I have just posted something about forgiveness and it may be apt in this situation.
He realised the hurt he had inflicted.
Nothing can change what has happened, and nothing will be the same again. But I have found chinks of light here and there after 10 months, and I fasten on to those. They are fleeting but are there. I know you will find the strength to cope with this awful situation. Take it easy. You have your daughters around you and I hope they give as much support as possible. Blessings and may light and love go with you.

Thank you Jonathan 123
I am very hurt and angry.
Trust was lost. But not love.
The " affair " was Saturday morning before work anything from popping in for 5 minutes and 20 minutes. That was it. So the rest of his time was ours. At least in body.

You must be an exceptional person. Hurt and anger are a natural result to what happened, but your love has not failed as it often does in these circumstances.
Total forgiveness in your case would be difficult. But later you may want to. It often eases pain.
Bless you and take care.

Hi, I know I will never forgive John totally, the absolute heartache and pain he has caused us as a family.
I hope with love, prayers and time.
We can function again , in our new normal.

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