The next day

I have woken up the day after my husbands funeral, He was my world all I lived for and now what? The greif is unbearable I was so strong at the funera lots of tears l but I am in bits today i can’t stop crying and feel so alone so unbearably empty I miss my love more than ever today he was 56 all our dreams hopes and future gone I have so many friends but all I need us the one I can’t have people say give yourself time you will lean to cope but when you have met the one your soulmate and said I love you every day for 30 years how can you


Dear trevor15

Ah yes, the day after the funeral, realising it’s the final goodbye and there’s no going back ……… not that there was at any point but our crazy minds always tried to convince us otherwise!!
Or was it wishful thinking on our part.

Today will be another day like no other and I wouldn’t expect to much …… if anything from yourself today. Strangely, for people on the outskirts of your life, now the funeral is over, they will start to move forward and probably expect you to do the same. What they won’t get is that your journey, truly without your soul mate, has only just begun.

I wish I had more words of encouragement for you but I can’t give you false hope. Just know we are all here to listen and try to support you in any way we can.
Small steps today, be kind to yourself. Let today take you in what ever direction gives you comfort.

Take care, big hugs

Dee xxx

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Thankyou so much Dee x just trying to get through this dreadfull day can’t stop the tears I just helps knowing you are not alone and there are many others dealing with this most distressing loss how do you carry on when the love of your life is gone me and gary had the most wonderfull relationship something so special again thank you this is the first time I have posted anything xx

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Hi @Trevor15 ,

I’m so sorry to hear about your Husband, it sounds as though things are very tough at the moment. I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here and that you have so many friends to support you.

It may be helpful to know that Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here:

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

Please do take care of yourself at this difficult time.


Thanyou for the information Becca j will look into this xx

The future does feel very scary doesn’t it. I’m 57 years old, met my husband when we were both in our forties and he gave me the best 15 years of my life. Selfishly I wanted more, we both did.
Some days I feel sad for me and other days I feel sad for Martin. He deserved to be here, he deserved so much more time. He wanted to see his son get married, that’s happening next years. He desperately wanted to be a grandad.
I’m sure grief feels the same for us all but for me I wish we had been older so I don’t have to spend so many years without him.
But then I guess if you’ve spent many years together the loss is just as great. Both my parents are in their nineties and although I will be sad at their passing, it will feel more in the order of things.

Again, I guess it’s just as hard but if Martin had been ill , maybe!! I could have prepared my myself for this loss or at least expect it.

It’s been a tough week emotionally.

Dee xxx

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I’m so sorry for your loss Dee our husbands left far to soon and I know the next chapter is blank all I want is to fill it with Gary but that will never happen so scared of everything just end up going to bed try to sleep and then here we go again but without my love I list both my parents 5 and 8 years ago in their 80s it was really sad and distressing but lossing your soulmate very friend love of your life us on a different level,everyone is different but this is how I feel xxx I hope you cope better next week just take it hour by hour Trevor xxx take care xx

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I understand how your feeling it’s a terrible feeling day after my husband funeral didn’t want to talk to anybody it’s nearly a year since my wonderful husband died November 11th dreading it lv annie x

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Annie does it really get any better I hate waking up alone quiet no gary 5th Oct 1 month and the pain is stronger each dreadfull day I will think if you onthe 11th such a hard day for you xx

You cry most days but not as much as at the beginning but it is so hard anything starts me crying it’s johns first memory 11th November and I’m dreading it take care big hugs annie x

I remember when he first died being together 46years I didn’t want to go on as the months have passed things are easier still cry but not as much a think it was when I realised he wasn’t coming back to me please take care of yourself lv annie x x

That’s the worse, realising they really are not coming back and this is reality. The finality of it all is all consuming. x

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Day of tears anxiety and pain de ided to take my sympathy cards down I can hear my wonderfull husband gary saying its about time you took them down ,after 3 days it took me 2 hours took half down then cried did some gardening g but Gary wasn’t here to say it looks like lovely did take them down, took girls fir their walk but still the same went to Gary’s grave and cried and cried 5pm going to bed to ease the pain a little I feel exhausted empty numb and very much alone

Hi It is very hard especially the first few months it so raw. Your emotions are all over the place. I know mine were. I was scared of what the future would hold, how I was going to look after everything, this was all at a time when important decisions had to be made. I also went back to work, which to be honest was a god send as it focused my mind elsewhere. The anniversary is coming up in a few weeks and I have found myself going backwards in my emotional journey when I think I had made some great progress. All I can say is that it does get better but never back to normal it never will. I just had to accept the reality of it all, that’s the hard bit. Keep posting and chatting it really does help. X