I’m trying to find a ‘place’ a time and a place where I can live without this pain being so raw brutal and unforgiving. I will never forget you and I wouldn’t want to. You live with me every day and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I just wish I could get to a place where I can think of you and ‘smile’ with a warm but heavy heart, a little ache, a little longing just not this ….this constant devastating heartache. Maybe one day you’ll come to me and lead me to a place where it doesn’t hurt so much. Maybe even a place where I can smile at your memory maybe even have a little chuckle at all the fun things we used to do, silly little fun things that no one else would understand, they were ours and ours alone, now ? All that’s left are the memories and I can find only tears, so yes, I’m looking for a ‘place’ though at the moment it feels ever so far away.
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I understand your pain. My partner died suddenly almost 7 months ago. I’m at the stage where I want to remember him with a smile instead of the relentless heartache I’ve experienced since he died. We weren’t perfect but he enriched my life and now I’m facing a bleak future without him. People say it gets better and you learn to live with your loss, I truly hope so. I’m just so worn out now.
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That time will come and it’s something to look forward too, that’s what I’m doing, stay strong.
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