the point?

You know what, today I can’t hack it! I just want my man and my life back! I’m staying at my brother’s house in my hometown but nothing helps, not really. You go and have coffee with friends and talk about the catastrophe that has happened and it passes the endless time but then… the pain and longing begins again. I miss the town I lived in with Guy, but he’s not there, nobody is. I’m so lonely for him. Today I wonder, what is the point of just existing.


Dear Elfy
There is no point - actually what is the point of anything?
I don’t know when you lost you husband , Jack died 2 1/2 years ago - I am still looking for mean in my life. As you I try - get involved with friends, my children and grandchildren. I work part time
But as you ask what is the point?
Maybe the point is appreciate life and recognise that love is eternal -

Maybe the point is accepting that everything is transitory , that is we can’t plan with certainty and that life isn’t fair and pain is part of life and happens to us all

I miss Jack and find life grey without him

So lovely Elfy - there isn’t much point and the same time life is worth living - we fought so hard for Jack to survive so I owe to him to live the best I can even though I don’t see much point
Take care


That is exactly how I feel and yesterday was 6 months since Graham my partner of 37 years died . He was 50 we’ve been together from being teenagers. I ask myself that everyday what is the point. I do like you spend time with family started to try and catch up with friends but as he was poorly for so long last 3 years needed my care 24/7 he was my life and all I wanted. I had to give up my job last year so not got that as a distraction but to be honest I know I’m not ready to go back out in the real world yet. I’ve been to the supermarket this morning and not buying food I used to get for him upsets me I can’t watch certain TV programmes we used to watch together . How do we keep going day after day of this it’s just so heartbreaking and exhausting. I have had 6 counselling sessions and think I was expecting there to be a magic wand to wave over me and I’m better. This will never happen counsellor tells me life has to be a combination of distraction ( failing as I can’t be bothered with anything) and grieving. Take one day at a time and don’t think too far ahead. It could take years if ever to come to terms with so like you say what is the point . I struggle every morning I wake and it’s like I’m remembering all over again if I do manage to get up and dressed what’s the point. It’s just a daily fight to exist. The loneliness is the worst for me I’ve always had him there so now feel like a scared child . We have a grown up daughter and 2 grandsons who are our world but still I’m struggling to find the motivation to carry on. Big hugs. So sorry for your loss thinking of you too .


I struggle to see the point anymore. Together 42 years and married 38. Worked hard for everything we had, brought up our kids and welcomed a little grandson only for my world to come crashing down in September. We had endured a difficult 4 years after both loosing our jobs. We down-sized and returned to what we knew best - live within your means and as long as we had each other nothing else mattered. Now that has been taken away from me. We had got our new little home just about finished and could sit and laugh and enjoy life just in each others company. I sit alone every night and cry for what I have lost. My wonderful husband - he was all I ever needed and wanted. Now gone in a blink of an eye.

I spoke to him 3 hours before the crash. We laughed and joked not knowing that would be the last time I heard his voice. Never even got the chance to say goodbye. I miss him so much. He was my life from age 18.

I am so sorry that you have found yourself in the same position. Life is just so cruel.

Take care.


Hi Julie. So sorry things still so raw for you. Same for me too and same timescale. Ron private messaged me to ask if we are still meeting for North West meeting. Have you thought any more about it? I would welcome it after 17th May.

Thank you I’m so sorry we are having to suffer this :broken_heart:
It’s just so damn hard day after day of waking dragging myself out of bed when I could easily stay under the covers. Same for me all I wanted was just to be together even just sat watching TV just miss him being there as he always was. I have a wonderful daughter but she has her own life to live .
I feel lost and scared of the future as it’s not the one I want and can’t accept this is where I am . Will continue to take baby steps one day at a time and hope I can find some motivation to start getting on with just boring day to day tasks just for distraction which the counsellor says is good. I have no interest in anything which is not me I start doing things and then think what is the point . Thinking of you x

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Hi Juli69

Thank you. Not the life we wanted or worked so hard for. We all deserved better and certainly not living a life like this.

Take care.