The "right time

I lost my husband 2 months ago suddenly, he was only 40 and I’m 38. We have two young boys. He was my world, we had been together for 18 years and married for 13. I miss him so much. My head is in such a mess and I’m battling with my brain on what I should do. Should I remove my wedding ring and take down wedding photos is my biggest question? I don’t want too (I never want too) but is it the right thing to do?

Sarah x

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Dear Sarah2601

I am so sorry for yours and your children’s loss.

Bristles is right - you must do what you feel is right for yourself. For me I remain married even though my husband is no longer here. We were together 42 years and married 38. I continue to wear my wedding and engagement rings.

Just take your time over things.

Take care
Sheila

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Hi Sarah
I don’t think there are many of us that would remove our wedding rings, I will never remove mine as he will always be my husband and I do have photographs of my husband all over the house plus I carry photo’s with me at all times but the decision has to be yours and what you feel comfortable with.
You have received sound advice please don’t let anyone tell you what you should do. You do exactly what you feel is right for you and your children.
I am so sorry for your loss and try and stay strong for your young boys.
God bless

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I’m sorry you have lost your husband so young, you and your boys must be really struggling at the moment.
Our wedding photographs are still up and I am still wearing my wedding ring, I don’t envisage that being removed anytime soon. In fact I am also wearing my wife’s wedding ring on a gold chain.

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Thankyou so much everyone, that’s made me feel alot better. It’s so hard isn’t it? There is no manual or instructions for grief and losing a spouse. I want to do what’s best for my children and make them happy. Photos of their dad will always be on the wall for them to see. That I can promise.
@RichardM I also have my husbands wedding ring on my necklace. Close to our hearts where they will always belong.

Take care
Sarah x

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Totally agree with Sarah. I’m two years down the line and I still wear my rings. I tell any salesman that I need to speak to my husband first. I as advised not to make any major decisions, ie moving for at least a year and that proved to be very good advice.

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Hi Sarah. I wear my husband’s ring on my middle finger and I never thought to take my own wedding ring off. It is two and a half years for me but I am still married. As others have said though it is entirely up to you. So sorry that your husband died so young and suddenly. My thoughts are with you. Please keep posting on here. It has helped me so much.x

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Hello @Sarah2601. I feel so sorry for your loss and it is very early days yet to be making big decisions. As you see from replies to your post most of us still feel very much married and do not want to remove wedding rings or photos. There is no book on etiquette so do what ever you feel comfortable with. I consider myself very much Mike’s wife and always will be. I do not use the ‘W’ word as it is a status I didn’t choose.
Take life slowly, calm down and breathe and remember this - there will always be someone who can help you. Trust me on this.
Love and light. x

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Dear @Sarah2601,
I have to agree with @Bristles and the other posters, but it has to be what you are comfortable with. There’s no right or wrong thing to do, whatever it is you decide, that will be right for you. Personally, I wear my wedding ring every day now (I used to only wear it going out) and I wear my wife’s ring on a chain around my neck. I kiss them both and talk to my wife first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I printed off 2 colour photos of my wife and have them on the wall above our fireplace. It’s 36½ weeks since my wife passed and I still have her sympathy cards on display - I don’t know if I’ll ever take them down. So, just do whatever you feel is right for you.

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I lost my husband 16th December 2020, I found a bespoke jewelers, she designed a new ring to my brief, made from my wedding, my hubby’s wedding and my engagement ring, so now I wear all the most important rings, itoojs like a wedding ring, as most people have said I to feel I’m still married, and you need to do what feels right for you, be kind to yourself, jas been the best advice I’ve received

@Sal1

What lovely idea. I think I might look into doing this.
Thankyou so much for the advise

Sarah x

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Bless your heart :heart:. The grief if loosing your husband is just so over powering so un real I lost my husband in January 22nd 2021 to covid and i feel like I am in a bubble .I like to keep pictures up of him with me and my children gives me comfort. Sending you big hugs

Lost my husband 26-12-2020 to cancer.i wear his wedding ring.
Kept some of his stuff.dont let anybody tell u 2 move on.or get rid of his stuff
Plenty of support on here.take it one day at a time x

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Hi Sarah
Isn’t it interesting how people feel entitled to pass comment on what is none of their business
Nearly 3 years since Jack died - I do wear my wedding ring
I have Jack’s pictures around the house - he is still part of our lives. On the 19th is Jack’s birthday, our 4 kids will “celebrate “ it - being together, we will talk about him we will cry a bit and we will laugh too.

You do what feels right for you - there are no rules! You make your rules

I have an aunt who is 95 years old - she has been a widow for 30 years and she does say that the void we have will continue for ever more but you learn to live with it !
Take care
Sadie x

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Thankyou @Sadsadie xx