The world doesnt feel safe after the loss of my mum

Hi all, first post…
I lost my mum 18 months ago due to leukaemia. I am really struggling with my grief.
Further to missing mum and all those things I wish we could still share, I feel completely and utterly abandoned in the world. I dont blame mum at all and know she would stay forever had she been able to…but I just feel the world is so dark and scary without mum here to protect me. She was the only person who ever truly had my best interest at heart and the only person who ever unconditionally loved me for me…not what she needed.
I have suffered with anxiety for a long time …but since mum left I eel terrified of the world…so on edge and riddled with anxiety, I feel I have to try so hard to get through each day, I barely sleep, I dont trust the world or anyones intentions…its like when mums light went out, the test of the worlds did too, and it isnt getting any better as time goes on x

Kj1982,
I’m sorry you lost you Mum. My Mum passed away suddenly from pneumonia and a heart attack just under a year ago. I understand how lost and vulnerable you might feel. My Mum too was my best friend and the one constant in my life.
The loss of a loved ones is so draining and there is so much to get ones head around. Of course, world events don’t help the anxiety and grief.
The only thing I would suggest is seeing your GP if your anxiety and lack of sleep gets too much. I have on off anxiety and my sleep is not that marvellous either. I try to go to bed an hour early to get around sleep issues.
Take care

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Dear @Kj1982, I am so sorry of the loss of your wonderful mum. As usual, @Daffy123 is completely correct in what she says - it is just so difficult when we lose that parent who was devoted to us. Have you been to your GP regarding your anxiety? Have you ever had any counselling? You need not suffer alone, there is help available to you, please keep posting if you think it might help you.

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Thankyou daffy x sorry to hear you have also lost your mum x I have spoken with my GP. I am already on several medications for anxiety and depression and have tried sleeping tablets. Sleeping tablets helped dme get to sleep but within two hours I was awake with nightmares and then awake most fo the night again, it’s so frustrating. Nights are definitely the worst x

Thankyou Abdullah x yes I have seen my gp both before and after mums death and also have had sessions with an occupational therapist since mum left. Nothing is helping this far tho x

I lost my mum 17 months ago and my dad a year before my mum.
I agree losing my parents has made me feel very alone and I had anxiety after losing my husband 9 years ago, since my mum my anxiety has got much worse.
I feel my family is dwindling away and I feel it has changed me some days I feel so depressed I don’t want to get out of bed.
Let’s hope it gets easier
I feel for you all
Xx

That makes me very sad. I have been on medication, on and off, for depression and anxiety, since my teenage years, and it can be so difficult to cope with grief when you have pre-existing mental health problems, so I know what you’re experiencing. Thankfully, I do not have sleep problems. How is your diet? Do you eat well? That can really affect our quality of sleep. Hugggsss.

Your post truly resonates with me and I felt the same for a long time and still do sometimes.
You have lost your foundation and your anchor in life and it’s scary. Grief is lonely and when the only person who loved you unconditionally is no longer here to support you with that love, you feel totally lost and abandoned. However your mum never left you, only in body. Your mum has already given you all the life skills you need to survive before she passed. That was her love, legacy and gift to you for you to be able to continue your life’s journey. Anxiety is fear and this fear is also about facing your own mortality because that protective bubble a parent gives has burst. It’s normal to have these feelings. When you feel low talk to your mum and you will hear her, when you look in the mirror you will see her. When you need answers she will give them to you. Her light never went out because it burns brightly within you. Seek that light and know it will guide you, comfort you and give you the wisdom to survive. You don’t have to trust anyone or what the rest of the world is doing. Just follow your heart knowing that every beat is also that of your mum’s x

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I can relate to this so much
I also lost my mum to leukaemia, and feel exactly the same as you do. So I cant give any advice but just to know you are not alone x

Dear @catrinka88, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sorry no one replied to your message, it is often a good idea to start a new conversation, as more people read new conversations than existing ones which have already had a few replies.

Hi, its ok, I was more responding to Kj1982 rather than looking for a response myself xx

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How kind of you, hope you’re coping ok.

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