Living in South Yorkshire and having a lovely friendly dog, does put a smile on my face and others, when out walking. Been pondering about joining some groups - a step in the right direction …
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Hi @Silvy
Yorkshire lasses are made of steel. You are over the worst, progress might slow down a bit, but progress nevertheless! What sort of groups are you thinking of?
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Fruendshio lunches, U3a , writing groups, iove thestre trips and vusiting tte Yorkshire coast. I have been a member of a hiking group, but need to build my fitness level back up as lockdown and three years of being my husbands carer, isolated me and aiming to join more walking groups. Just writin this response has motivated me to take steps tiwards my goals. Si rhank you
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I’m just planning to go abseiling in the Peak District. Ive done it before, and loved it!
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Hi @Silvy I have joined the Jolly Dollies. It’s a nationwide group for widows with local groups all over the country. I’ve only been to a couple of meet ups so far but they have been very enjoyable. I’ve also joined way up which is a group for people who have lost partners. It has lots of members all over the country who meet up or go on holidays. So far haven’t had any face to face contact with them.
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Enjoy! It seems we are plunged into the pit of grief and at some stage we may be ready to embrace survival mode and take the plunge to find something to get on the first rung of the ladder to find contentment. Wishing everyone and myself to believe that we can grasp some happiness
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Thank you for this positive message. It will be two years on 27th September since my beloved husband passed away. We were happily married for 52 and a half years. We have three wonderful children and three lovely grandchildren.
I’m still trying to come to terms with his passing. The children and I review his illness every day but it doesn’t change the outcome. I have very many supportive friends and neighbours second to none. I feel so very blessed but I still miss my husband so much. I’m trying to move forward and sometimes it seems ok and then all of a sudden I am back to square one.
I just cannot believe how quickly the time is passing — seems like only yesterday …….
Thank you again for your supportive message. It has given me hope.
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Hi @Dorrie , it’s difficult and hard work isnt it!
Why are you reviewing his illness every day, when all it achieves is to drive you backwards? Why not substitute some happy thoughts from your life together? Such as falling in love, getting married, special holidays etc.
Purely by coincidence, this just landed in my inbox.
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That brought tears to my eyes! That is soooo true. I gain nothing for reviewing my husband’s illness with ‘if only ……’ and ‘I wish…… It is futile because his ashes are in the basket.
The other thing that makes me very sad is that his wish was to be cremated and so he was cremated. I really wish he had been buried because I would feel that he would still be there in body, albeit his skeleton. I know it sounds crazy but I can’t bear the thought that he went up in flames — like in olden times when people were burned at the stake! Forgive me if that sounds awful. It’s just the way I feel.
Thank you again for your kind message. I really appreciate it.
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Thank you for posting ‘forgive yourself first’. I am trying, but it can be difficult, I suppose it is what grief does to us.
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Hi Dorrie, my Debby wanted to be cremated and buried under a tree somewhere. But I told her I didn’t want her out there in the cold ground without me, somewhere I’d have to go just to sit with her. So I asked her if she would change her plans and she did. She now sits in our home with me again, I look after her and keep her safe from the cold. When my time comes we will both be under a tree, but I will be there to look after her. Nothing that enters this world ever leaves, you still have your partner there with you.
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I’m in the same position as you as i lost my husband of 47yrs four year’s ago in 2019. I still shed the odd tear and have so many happy memories of our life together. And i have two very handsome son’s that look so much like him. He will always be with me.But i do actully feel like I’m moving on now getting on with life.Trying to look forward and not keep dwelling on the past.
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Thanks for info jan willl look into both groups. Just feel like I need to be timetabled so I have happy to be alive days and social time to look forward to and have a good belly laugh x
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Your message was nice to read
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Thank you for writing and sharing this. It has helped me and many others I am sure
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Hi Tykey, that’s a lovely post & i’ve done what you’ve done over my best friend. We a shared a place for over 30 yrs & have many funny, happy memoeies. You’re right, really not easy but we must carry on. I have a lovely photo of her which in the early days, made me cry & broke my heart. Now i too, smile at her, laugh with her i’m sure & i too talk to her. As i type this a Robin has landed & calling out to me i always say Robins are heaven sent😉. Again thank you for sharing & take care.
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I am exactly the same. 18 months since my husband passed, he was only 59. I scattered his ashes last week.
I made the decision very early into my journey that I wasn’t going to sink. But did flounder for a while.
With the support of friends and family you can be happy again. It doesn’t stop you loving and missing your partner and the life you had
So here’s to the next chapter in life which only I can write. I’m retiring at 55 at end of year and have loads to look forward to.
I hope this helps even one person to see a glimmer of hope.
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