Think I'm coping but no I'm not

I know what I’m going through is normal everyone tells me that but it’s not . It’s not normal to come home and he’s not here . It’s not normal to think about tmoro but not include him ?? It’s not normal to think about dinner without his input ? It’s not normal to out the washing in the machine without his socks ? It’s not right and u don’t want to do it

I don’t think anything will be normal again. My beloved husband died on my birthday in January. He had had a fall which finally added to his decline.

We were together 35 years. We were totally devoted. Did everything together, even the food shopping. Everyone thinks I’m coping. But I’m not yesterday I sat and watched tv all day, and when I wasn’t engaged I cried.

Can’t be bothered to cook, I have some ready meals which my daughter got me, I think she knew I wouldn’t bother cooking. No point no one to cook for. I have hobbies and I don’t want to do them. I can’t be bothered with the housework.

I don’t want to talk to my GP he will just say you need counselling! How can that help mend my broken heart. I can’t see any meaningful future for me. People say time!!


Hi Pamelia. I lost my partner of 28 years last Oct. She’d been unwell for years and had to use a wheelchair when we went anywhere. I was her carer for the last few years so we were together 24 hours a day. We had no children but I have fantastic support from her family and my friends but even in company I feel alone. There are days when I think I’m coming to terms with her loss and then something reminds me and I’m off again. I’ve never had any counselling and not sure it would help me anyway what i have and still do rely on is this forum . To read what other people are going through and post my feelings knowing that people that truly understand will read it has undoubtably helped me alot. I would urge you to carry on posting your thoughts. Its certainly helped me. I’m so sorry about the loss of your husband. My very best wishes to you. Peter.

I lost my Phil a week before Xmas , together since we 17 , 27 years , supposed to be together forever , we did everything together , shopping for Xmas dinner that very day , he was excited for seeing grandkids , then our life changed in an instant. Now I hate everything and don’t want be involed with anyone . Got great family and friends who are there for me but I don’t want that , i think yep let’s go and get up in the morning walk me dog, go work do what I have to do but it’s pointless nothing changes ,it’s just another day hour whatever … I feel
alone and numb and hate what this is .

Yes Ron was in a wheelchair due to osteoporosis around the last 25 months if his life. Thank you for answering. I wish you well.

I know the feeling. Every day I think perhaps I won’t cry, perhaps I will feel better. But no. To add insult to injury I got covid. I’m over that now, but now I feel too down to try to go out.

My Jo was in a wheelchair due to osteoporosis and had been for years. At different times she’d had both hips replaced but due to the disease she was always in pain and her knees and fingers were going as well. She’d suffered greatly with her health over the years and when her treatment for cancer failed she told me she’d had enough. As heartbreaking as that was to hear I did understand. She was so weak at the end that the consultant told her that further treatment wasn’t possible. She told him that she didn’t want it anyway. She was just short of her 66th birthday when she went. Optimistly I always though she’d be cured and we’d have more years together but it wasn’t to be. Take care. Peter.

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