This christmas

About three years ago I was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis along with a couple of other lung conditions related they believed to contact with asbestos, my partner was great and as the conditions progressed with made arrangments to cope . About fifteen months ago she said she needed to see doctor probably nothing to worry about, saw doct who prescribed antibiotics for suspected mastytis (probably spelt wrong) and said gonna refer you to breast care centre a Heather was away a few days for daughters hen party, came to date for check next day, did tests and was inflammatory breast cancer.
They moved quickly with chemo surgery and radiotherapy followed by more chemo but it was to spread through her body, we managed to fit in three family weddings but unfortunately on Christmas Day at seven am heather lost her fight, as we live in Northern Ireland funerals normally only take a few days but dealing with th sudden emptiness is so very hard

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Hello Gary, I’m so sorry to hear that your partner Heather lost her fight with cancer on Christmas Day. Your loss is very recent and raw and it is understandable that you feel very empty. In the early days, people normally advise to go very easy on yourself, and to take things day by day or even hour by hour.

I’m glad that you’ve found this site, as it is really important to have outlets for your emotions - bottling grief up can make things even worse. I hope it helps even a tiny bit to be able to write things down here. Our users are a supportive lot and know what it is like to lose someone, so you should get more replies soon. But, while you wait, you might also find it helpful to read some of the other recent posts in the Losing a Partner category, to see what other people’s experiences have been.

If there’s anything I can help with or you have any questions about the site, you can email me at

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