This has changed me as a person

Hi i lost my mum exactly 3 months ago and i am in no way feel like time is helping me i just get worse. I get anxiety and panic attacks which i have never had before .i still cant look at photos of mum and every day i havevto take so slow .distractions are good but i have to do it at my pace as if i get asked to do stuff all the time i get stressed and my heart beats faster . Its all so overwhelming .Wish i could live a bit easier but loss of mum has hit me more than ever imagined grief really hits hard

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Hi Marie,

I’m sorry you are struggling. I am also struggling and the grief of losing my dad is relentless. It will be 4 months on Wednesday since I lost my dad and I also feel no better with the passing of time. The sadness lasts all day and despite keeping myself busy I feel constantly distracted thinking of my dad.

I feel like a vastly different person to the one I was before I found out my dad was ill. It was like life switched in an instant with the news that dad had terminal cancer and it’s never been the same since. I have gone from being a motivated, enthusiastic and positive person to someone who feels dread, anger and stress. I am struggling to even think clearly and don’t feel like my brain is working at times. I also feel panicked at the thought of forgetting my dad even though I know this isn’t possible.

I have found that some days I can plod along despite the sadness and other days like today it feels completley debilitating. I try to just get through the day as best as I can and when I’m struggling I try to think of what my dad would tell me to do.

It’s truly awful to be going through this. I have had appointments with a councellor and I think these feelings are normal part of grieving process. I hope you have people supporting you, I don’t feel like I have a lot of people to talk to about my grief so posting on here helps.

Take care.
X

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Hi. I lost my mom 8 months ago now and last time i wrote in here was month after she passed. Ive tried to just move foward with my life and do what she would of wanted to. But truth is i struggle every day her not being here ive never felt more alone then i have in the past 8 months. Finding her how i did and not being able to save her i still feel like i should of done more or tried cpr longer but truth is she was gone and i know there was norhing more i could of done i habe the same nightmare of that day most nights ive been out of work 8months now because mentally havent felt ready to face it yet. Miss her so much and weve most of my family passing away i just feel like i have nobody anymore. I have my beatifull children if it wasnt for them i dont think i would of got threw this. Been trying to ger coucelling threw doctors getting no were doctors thinks im dealing witj ptsd. With not working struggling financially my savings went on my moms funeral. Just feel so depressed and no motivation most days my kids can clearly see there dad is not in the best of places at the moment as my oldest daughter is always worrying about its not her job to be doing it thats my job for her. I just need to find a way out of this dark hole im in jusr seems harder and harder each dau my mom would always be there to help me at this time with her guidance etc world just seem scary to face it without her there anymore. Just wish we could of had more years togther see jer grandkids grow. My children are devestated still they trt and talk to me about her and i juat cant do it fall apart just wish this grief would ger easier. Me and my partner seem to be drifting aparr i just i dont know if its my feelings or just everything going on and my head just isnt myself at the moment. Some advice or if anyone feels like this just need someone to talk to i think. Ty

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Its a cruel world i even wish i could go back to the hospital to sit with mum but i cant do that . I cant be there for her and it hurts so much . We all just need a frirnd who truly understands so posting on here does help x

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