This thing called grief

This thing called grief it lives with us and is relentless. The pain and emptiness never go away. Feeling lost because you lost that special someone. The one who made you smile each morning when you opened your eyes. Who brought light and love and laughter into your life.who made you feel you could achieve anything. Who made everyday worth living. Grief is gut wrenching it pulls at your heart and feels like its ripping you apart. So many feelings so many emotions. The what ifs, were there things I should have noticed,could I have done more. The feelings of guilt because you question yourself. Grief is such torment, so why do we torture ourselves even more. The love we had with them and the love we feel for them is truly amazing and beautiful. Grief is now my constant companion and it hurts like hell. But the love I shared with my beautiful pauline is always with me and my heart is full of love for her and her love that she gave me, will last me the rest of my life, no matter how long or short. It’s her and her love that gives me strength to keep going even at my weakest. I have suffered Grief before,but never felt so broken as I do now. I sometimes ask myself knowing the pain and heartbreak I’m going through, would I do it all over again with her and the answer is yes in a heartbeat. The love we all shared with our soulmates is eternal, it will never die. Although death has separated us nothing can take away the love we shared. I feel blessed to have been loved by her and will treasure all we shared for the rest of my days.


Casey, that’s exactly it, everything you have said has described the sheer pain we feel everyday and the love in our hearts we will carry to the end.
And yes, I would do it all again in a heartbeat , no question at all, we we’re lucky to have found them and had them in our lives. X


That is put so well into words how I feel it’s so painful and the pain will always be with us because we have lost half of us I can never mend that so hard to want to be here with out my husband but as you say we was blessed to have had found such love and it will stay in our hearts forever along with the memories but right now the pain is horrific he was taken too soon and could have been prevented if he had proper care all take care and hope you can manage your day xxx


I am dying inside every day now,I am being ripped apart with this grief and pain.I lost my Judith 16 weeks ago to that evil cancer,stage 4 bladder cancer which was missed through Covid taking over the NHS.I am now alone to face the rest of my miserable meaningless worthless life alone.I hate everyday I wake up and curse .My lofe is now nothign,empty ,I miss my Judith so much ,cannot bear to be without her.I lost 20 lbs in weight,hate getting my meals ready.My house is not a home anymore.Why am I made to live like this when I do not want to.We were meant to be together not alone. Much love to you all Michael x


Morning Michael you take care annie hugs to everybody lv x x

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And to you Annie xx Michael

Lovely words I agree with everything you wrote

Christine x

It really is awful I agree this life with out our loved one only half is left I really am struggling today can not cope I have been trying so hard for my family feel selfish as today I just want to go I feel I am a horrible person feeling like this but my lovely home and life is so empty it’s nothing now how do people get through it I don’t see it will ever get any better hope some of you are managing better xxx


Rose your not horrible it’s grieve a feel as though I’m horrible with everybody at the minute lv annie x big hugs x

Sending hugs thanks xx

Hi all I am so sorry we are all on this heartbreaking journey. Our lifes will never be the same. As we have lost the other half of our hearts. Each and every day is a struggle and most days , I don’t want to be here without my pauline. But I keep going for her and our pets. Also I tell myself as long as I’m alive she will always be loved missed wanted needed and never forgotten. I see so much pain and heartbreak on this site. But I also see a community that is so resilent and caring and willing to help eachother. As much pain as we are all in, we still reach out and try to help one another and that is also a blessing. Take care all sending love and hugs x


You write it so well, its how everyone feels. Lets hope it can get better.


We all feel the same Rose,awful life now,I wish that I could just go to sleep and not wake up.I am not managing at all Rose so you are not alone. Life without my beloved Judith is worthless. Michael x


That well said this site is helpful I feel I can write how I feel and some one is there it is a struggle for us all let’s hope we find some peace with less pain take care xxx

I can’t see anything about this life getting better without our loved ones,I’ve had major breakdowns this week it’s been nearly 17 weeks since Steve passed away he is on my mind all the time,sometimes I still expect to see him we had so many plans for the future,like you didn’t expect this heartbreaking loss and I agree life is so empty

Take care

Christine x


We do Casey everyday is. A struggle. But what do we do lv annie. X

Yes never known such emptiness as you say out planes are no more now we all must think why did it have to happen to us just awful xxx

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So sorry for everyone’s loss. I too am really struggling and have been having panic attacks. My Rob went suddenly on 15th December. He was my rock and soul mate. So kind and caring and looked after me as I have chronic illness. He said he’d always look ater me and never let anything bad happen to me. I don’t drive so feel very isolated, lost and lonely. We were one heart and one mind. Not a day went by when we didn’t say I love you and were always hugging. I miss those big gentle hugs so much. The pain is awful. There seems no point to anything now :cry:


It is truly heartbreaking. My love passed away nearly 2 years ago and it doesn’t get any easier and I actually think it is getting harder. I can’t bear not seeing and speaking with him.
These last few weeks have been torture and I feel like I am constantly crying. I keep telling myself, Jim would be saying you need to stop crying. I ask him all the time to please help me to be strong.
I do have friends however no one really understands, they don’t see behind the mask I put on when I see them and I feel they don’t really want to see the pain or tears. They feel you should be better by now!!! Sadly at some point they will find out it is not so easy.
Like you I don’t want to be here or I wish I was older and didn’t have too many years ahead.
Jim was too young to leave us😢



I’m nearly 3 years along from losing my husband, I seem to be worse now then I was the first couple of years.

I decided to buy a new car, the day after I went into a total panic, thinking I can’t drive it, I can’t cope with the new technology etc… so made a complete fool of myself ringing up to cancel it, none of my family & friends understand that I seem to have lost my confidence & cant seem to make a decision, there exasperated with me.

I didn’t know that grief could have such an effect on your confidence.

I didn’t rely on my husband to make decisions, I was more then capable.