We have been so used to being a " couple "for so long that being a " couple " has been most peoples norm, as this was all we had known…Now we ( due to unforeseen and unexpected circumstances, the loss of our partner, ) have become a " single " once again, and finding this single is hard to contemplate, come to terms with… It is not just the losing of our loved one -wife -hubby but the going back to the single life that we had once left far behind is hard to accept and to cope with as our world is full of couples as it should be…sadly too many singles too, many go unnoticed with their sadness and their losses…and now we too, have become one of them…This is a large planet but oh how lonely our planet, our world has become…
Yes Jackie. Yes indeed! I shall probably never come to terms with the word ‘single’ again. I don’t want to be single. ‘Widower’! Maybe, but even that has something that sounds depressing. No, I will plough on and await events. It’a all any of us can do.
I know your circumstances and my heart goes out to you. The mental pain is bad enough, but being disabled in some way must be an added painful burden. I think when I read your posts you do bear up remarkably well. I know the pain continues, but perhaps you are beginning the process of edging just a little out of the pain.
Lonely in the midst of a busy world!! Most people could never grasp that idea unless they have been in this position. It’s a loneliness within oneself. Hard to describe.
Now take care of yourself. It’s so easy to let oneself drift into a state of depression. You need as much support as you can get. Bless you Jackie. XX
Jonathan…
…bless you for understanding my circumstances, my situation, my MS illness…yes my MS makes it harder for me to cope with what is needed on coping with, and re-arranging my future…
Mary…
…bless you for understanding, it takes a special person to understand what others are or have been going through and i am fully aware we are a special group here on our Sue Ryder forum site…It is not only the loss of our loved one we are missing so much but also the person not being by our side as we go through our own medical issues completely alone now…
At times my Richard would infuriate me as my MS was taking its bad turn, where i thought he was oblivious to my now situation he would jump back saying " well what can i do " well of course in reality he could do nothing but i often felt he wasn’t even noticing, well of course he was, i am assuming he was just feeling helpless as there literally was nothing he could do but he was always there for me to take me to hospital for tests of things that i was tested for in the past, always 100% there for me…i could not have found myself a better man, loyal-reliable-put me first always-a provider of the old fashioned kind…
Continuation of above post…
…yet at the time he was taking his last breath, i was not there for him, well i didn’t know, i had no idea as we were not in the same room, and i was just those few seconds late when i found him…even the police and medics couldn’t get him back, and my God, did they try…and with me seated at the kitchen chair, the place the police and medics put me, and yes i could see everything they were doing to him, I was pleading with him." Richard please come back, please come back to me…"