Thought i had grieved properly

I lost my sister on the 31st Jan 2018 and thought i had comes to terms with it (well as much as you can) but lately i feel perhaps i haven’t fully grieved. I moved away from family and friends 8 months after she passed away and now im thinking was i running away, even though we said we would always move to the Isle of Wight, was it the right time. I just don’t seem to ever be happy, do i feel i shouldn’t be. My sister was 46 when she passed away and had so much more living to do x

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Hello Louie, your question implies that grieving stops or ends and we know that can’t be correct because we have treasured memories and they stay with us for all our life. Sometimes grief comes back and hits us hard, a steam train thing. If you are finding that you can’t move on and that it’s impacting on your life more than you feel it should then I would think of have counselling even if you had counselling earlier. You can have free support from both Sue Ryder and Cruse and it is never to late to access help. You have reached out for help which shows you are not running away, just needing reassurance. There is also other areas on here which may help you. Keep yourself safe. S xx

-https://www.sueryder.org/online-bereavement-counselling
-https://www.cruse.org.uk/
-https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/coping-with-grief-bereavement

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Hi Susie,

I realise that grieving will never go away so perhaps worded that wrong but it seems to have come back with a vengence.

Thank you for your help and will have a look at the links x

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Hello Louie, I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost a beloved sister in 2018. There is no proper way to grieve, and it sounds like you were doing what you felt best at the time. Sometimes we believe moving away will help, and the need to escape from the trauma often causes us to take drastic action. However we carry the pain where ever we go. Like you, I have not found any joy in life since my sister died, though I try but the feeling just isn’t there. I hope you will find support . This forum is a good place to start. I find myself coming back, because there is always someone to listen and offer a kind word. There is no timeline for the loss we’ve suffered. Take care and post again. Xxx Another Sad Sister

I lost my sister about the same time as you and thought I had come to terms with it as she had terminal cancer and thought I was prepared. I wasn’t as it turned out and my version of running away was drinking to be numb.
I’m still battling with it and had a sudden massive bout of bad mental health just recently and ended up in hospital so I’ve just joined a first step towards doing the grieving I should have started a long time ago… I have no remaining family and few friends so hope reaching out to those in same boat will help (I used to live in Southampton many years ago and loved the Isle of Wight!)

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