Thought these dark days were behind me

This post really is for those further along in their journey, I always feel like I want to give people who have recently lost their loved ones hope but sometimes, even nearly 3 years on I have days like these where I don’t want to get up & face the world. I always have that first feeling in the morning where I think, another day without you & I’m sad but I suppose as time goes on I’ve found it easier to lock it away. I was at a friends funeral & I think that’s what’s knocked me back. I was asked out for a drink by 2 different male friends whilst I smiled & said thank you, when I’ve thought about it more it’s upset me. They were friends of my husband too & whilst offering a friendly drink & chat are they thinking something else, they’re both divorcees? Do they really think I’m now over My Derek ready to move on & if that’s what they think is that what everyone thinks? It’s caused a real backwards step for me as I’ll always be Derek’s wife & I feel his loss every single day, but lots of people around you don’t get that. Sorry it’s a bit of a ramble, my heads all over the place today. Tomorrow’s another day, take care everyone :heart:


Dear jodel 712. I like you are nearly 3yrs into this journey and some days feel like I can’t go on but have to as I don’t want to upset my sons and daughter who think I am OK now I get up to take my dog for a walk he keeps me going. I have thought about do I want a man in my life again and the answer is no I have a few male friends who I chat to but thats it as far as I’m concerned no one can take my Peters place he was the love of my life we will never move on from our loves . Take care . X


Hi @Jodel712 - I’m not surprised you’re wondering about the motivation of these male friends. I find as a widow (horrible word), I’m looked at with suspicion by some women and as maybe available by men. My husband has only been gone 10 months and I can’t imagine ever being with anyone else. I feel my life will be spent as a single person even though I’m only 55, but this is the hand I’ve been dealt and I have to find a way of making my life worthwhile. Not always easy and there are difficult times, hopefully your current difficult time will pass. Take care x


Thank you for your post, I thought I was “down the line” at just over 5 months and being told I should be getting over her. Some have no idea, it helps me to look at their intentions which is to help but inadvertently it causes pain.
I was married just under 55 years to me beloved Marian and the thought of someone else is not for me I at all. If others feel it ok for them fair enough but for me there was only her and will be.

I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, realising I have a long way to go.

John (and marian)