thoughts in my empty head on this lockdownand its affects

so many on yahoo moaning and whining about this lockdown,i wish this had happened2 years or so ago,to be able spend more time with my baby Jayne. families should try cherish this time with their partners and children,i feel for those unable spend time with their grand kids and relatives they dont live with and especially if they are living alone.but those couples whinging and whining unbelievable,they need spend a day or 2 in our shoes to realise there are way worse things than being cooped up with your loved ones.
although those with partners treating them like possessions and causing physical violence need supporting big time.just wish it was possible to some how get those acting like this dealt with severely .

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Hi jianye,
I agree, I’ve heard so many people moaning, how their partners are getting them down in this lockdown. If only we could have this time with our precious partners, if only
Steph x

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Totally and utterly agree. It’s another reminder of how misunderstood grief is. It’s never ending whereas lockdown, although extended, can only be temporary. I would give away everything I possess to have back the lovely life I had with John - together we could get through anything. Thinking of you all.

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I wish my Stan could be with me too, well said Ian.

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Like Mary, I would love to spend the isolating days with my dear Alan. He and I spent a lot of time together, just the two of us, and particularly during the latter days of his illness. We were so content to be together, enjoying our companionship. Lockdown certainly is a worry, for everyone, but a lot worse when on your own. Stay safe and love your time with your nearest and dearest. Deidre

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Dear Ian
I think our very presence on this site is indicative of how much we loved and miss our partners. I think people are so used to doing what they want, when they want without any regard for others is a sign of how uncaring this society is. I noticed when I went away with my daughter last year - the first time without Gary - how many couples even in a holiday surrounding sit for hours without speaking to each other. And then you start thinking why me - why us - we were not like that - and you want to shake them, tell them to appreciate what they have - but maybe these people should not be together or maybe they just take each other for granted. I believe that those of us who loved the most are the ones that grieve the most too.
As you say those who cannot meet up with family and are grieving have been put back - but in order to keep the most vulnerable safe it is necessary. To those that are moaning - what is so bad about staying in the comfort of your own home. Yes of course it is hard if people are living in cramped conditions with no money and children to entertain - but is nothing compared to what people go through during wars - not that I have experienced it - but I have listened to those that have. Grief is a lonely journey anyway and only understood by those who endure it.
I must also say how over the last year your own grief has allowed you to offer others support. Your Jayne would be very proud of you.

Take care
Trisha xx

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Thank you Trisha for your great post. Your opening sentence is spot on. I agree with all that you say. You’re very observant. I’ve always been a great fan of people watching but I do it now with an added observation. My husband and I always found something to chat about. I loved sitting and chatting over a cup of tea or coffee, whether at home or out and about. xx

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Ian, Trisha is right. Jayne would be very proud of you. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Same Trisha. me and my partner would never be lost for words. I’ve had the best conversations most amusing, most fun, most lively conversations with him there is never a dull moment with him he just knew what to say. I never have such conversations or chemistry with anyone else and find everyone else so boring and the sad part is that at the time we just don’t know what we had how magical unusual those moments are we think it’s a normal thing and most partners have that bliss with each other. we only realize what we shared and had is so special once it’s gone and after the loss and not every one in relationships have that special bond chemistry. I didn’t realize how special he was when I had him.

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Initially I used to think the same as well when I would see people not talking to each other that they are missing out. But then I realize now how if I were to get in to a relationship with anyone it would be the same I wouldn’t know what to say there would be no spark no chemistry no liveliness as in just not the same as it was with him the person would not be my partner so it’s not possible for me to have the same relationship or even 10% close to the relationship I had with my partner

How I agree with you all. People don’t realise how lucky they are. Someone recently sent me an e-mail telling me how her husband was getting on her nerves. How I wanted to say “At least you have your husband”.
I would just love Brian to be here with me but to be honest I wouldn’t see much of him as he would be in his ‘domain’, where he would be painting. Or on his computer re-arranging all his photographs and filing them, playing his guitar or keyboard and if the weather was nice he would be on the patio taking photo’s or reading. I have a feeling he would not mind being confined at all. I am the one that becomes restless when indoors but to honest this lockdown isn’t making much difference to my life except for the difficulty getting into a supermarket, which I won’t do as I hate queues. I have had to learn to like my own company over the past year and although there are restrictions I am keeping busy, I am walking the dogs on long walks, I am gardening and growing my veg and spending time in my greenhouse. I don’t have much time to sit and think and I like it that way. This lockdown is what we make of it, I am self isolating but there isn’t much difference to what I have had to get used to over the past year. But how I would like Brian to be here with me, nothing can replace him. We are having to cope with the loss of loved ones and this lockdown is nothing compared to that.
xx

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I have been reading the posts on here and feel I could have written some of them myself. It is 9 months since I lost my David but have felt more comfortable since lockdown and being on my own, with our dog. My family and friends have been loving and supportive but now I don’t need to put on a face at all. I just feel all the light has been taken from my life, the joy has gone and I am a miserable and uninteresting person, so this enforced loneliness is suiting me. I walk my dog over the fields for miles, garden and think of David in everything I do. I just miss him so and cannot ever see myself getting back the spark he brought to my life. I will never get back the sheer easiness and comfort of our relationship which lasted for 58 years, 54 of them married to my best friend.
Sorry this is not an uplifting post but this is my reality.
Keep safe , try to get through each with at least one happy memory. Xx

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hi Trisha
Ive got say when ever you write,Whether its a response to help others or a topic you start yourself .the words are beautiful and even a dummy like me can understand and feel the warmth flowing through each sentence you write.Thank you very much again and i hope myself that Jayne would be proud of the efforts i make to try my best to help others were i can.
regards ian

hi Pat
thank you for taking time out from your allotment and potting plants in the green house to respond ton this thread.look after your back lol
regards
ian

thank you very much Kate.i hope Jayne would be a little proud

Ian, I firmly believe that your beautiful Jayne is proud, very proud. x

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