Thank you
It was a lovely send off and i was the same. Honestly it was so overehelming. I told my mum i couldnt sit near her. I wrote some of the eulogy too witha poem which brought everyone to tears. I held it in but when his songs came on thats when i broke down a bit, and when the casket was lowered it disnt seem real that that was a part of me being lowered. It is hard, but my friends and family were so good. And some of friends that i hadnt met joined me when i went back to sit at his graveside and i was playing music and they were singing along and chatting about his memories and then we all looked up and saw one star shining and the red moon and it was quite a moment. My brother would have loved it. The build up is worze i think so you will make it through i promise. Yesterday i was lost, didnt know what to do with myself. But i will be thinking of you on friday xxx
Hi Evans2021
I am so sorry you have lost your Mum, but the main reason I am writing is because you are worried about the graveside part of the ceremony.
My husband died last year. We had been married for 54 wonderful years and like you, I was absolutely dreading the graveside bit to the point of telling my daughters that I wouldnât be going. In the end, I did, and I was so scared about how it would be, but I neednât have worried. When we got to the grave, a calm came over me. It was as though my husband was telling me not to worry and that I could do this. And I did. In fact, I found it beautiful and much more meaningful than the cremation. His ashes were buried in his grandparentsâ grave and he will be at peace there.
I hope your experience is similar, , but remember, good or bad, nothing lasts for ever, and you will cope.
Hugs, AnnR x
Thank you for your kind words @AnnR
I hope i am strong enough to do it. I dont want to let anyone down, especially not my Mum. x
You wonât! And your Mum would never feel let down by you, not when you are doing your very best. I am a Mum, and I know how I would feel if it happened to be one of my daughters. She certainly wouldnât want you to beat yourself up about this.
Go, be calm, take deep breaths. You are not alone. Xx
Thank you @AnnR
I did it - got through it. Shared lots of memories with people who knew her. It was actually quite lovely in the end. A very fitting tribute to her and who she was.
It was difficult, and emotional, and there were a lot of tears, but talking to so many different family members and friends about my Mum was very comforting.
Bev
Dear Bec,
I am so glad it was the sort of experience I thought it would be, but I wonât say âI told you so!â I am sure your mum would be proud of you.
It was so lovely of you to let me know how it went, and I really appreciate that.
Now you need to get on with your life, and that will be possible too. Youâll see.
Best of luck for the future.
Hugs,
Ann