Three years on

Three days ago was the third anniversary since my wonderful husband, Alan, died. How time has flown by. I cannot believe that I have lived three years without him by my side. This site has proved so comforting and helpful. Although I have not written here lately, I know if ever I feel like turning to this community for a ‘read’ I will find a wealth of information, insight, understanding and comfort from writers expressing their sorrows following the sad loss of a loved one, or the Joy’s of finding their way through, and finding others who share their experiences. Remembering Alan is not just an occurrence on his anniversary, of course, but every day I live with my wonderful memories of him. In just coming onto the site, I came across previous posts of mine, and others on ‘Remember me’! The writers were all telling of their ways of remembrance of their loved one who is no longer with them. Beautiful memories. Rose’s sometimes planted in memory. However, the last twelve months has been a change of life as we know it. due to the pandemic, and Lockdown periods. Having to be isolated or restricted in seeing friends or family added to the feeling of loss, particularly to those newly bereaved. I hope those of you newly bereaved feel a little more hopeful for the future now that Lockdown is gradually being lifted. Today was a beautiful sunny day, giving us a lift in spirit and hope. I sat in my garden, this afternoon, remembering the countless times Alan and I had sat in the same spot, just enjoying each other’s company. admiring the shrubs we had planted together some years ago. It’s too early for the Rose’s yet, but something to look forward to in the Summer. I also read for a while, and enjoyed the warmth and brilliance of the sun. I recently heard that it is difficult for the bereaved to find counselling. So sad, when they need it. My daughter found this site when my husband, her beloved father died, and mentioned it to me. I know she found the site useful and helpful, at the time, as I have done so myself. When I first wrote three years ago, I never dreamt I would be writing here three years later. I send my best wishes to those whom I have ‘met’ on the site over the last three years, and assuring those recently bereaved that they will receive only kindness and support here. Love and best wishes. Deidre


Hi @Dierdre,

What a lovely post to read as I log on to this site, which is the first thing I do every morning.

It’s so very difficult. My husband died last September, not of COVID, but I think the wave of exhaustion caused by COVID throughout the NHS contributed to his sudden and untimely death.

The strange thing is, I find that nearly every day something nice happens to me. Lots of horrible things, but one day about 4 - 6 weeks after Jim died, I found an iPhone in a wallet with a bank card and a credit card. At the time, my driving licence had been medically suspended by the DVLA, so I couldn’t return it directly. I couldn’t take it to the police station either, but I let them know I had it. I put it on charge - I have the same aged iPhone - and waited for it to ring. It soon did, and the man who owned it cycled over to get it. I live on farmland 2 miles from the nearest village, he lives some of the time in a caravan park in the next village.

The next day a friend came to help me walk the dogs, and when we returned there was the most beautiful bunch of flowers on my doorstep. They were gorgeous, and they must have cost a fortune. They came from the owner of the iPhone. I burst into tears of gratitude.

So thank you again for your post. It really supported me in my feeling that life must go on, however difficult it is at times.


Christie xxx

Dear Christie, Thank you for your lovely post. In spite of your loss of your dear husband, it is good to read that you can see the happy things happening in your life. What a lovely story regarding the outcome following your finding the wallet. I, too, have often found that something good happens just when I am perhaps feeling a little down, like a telephone call from a friend, or my lovely sister who lives in Canada, or a friendly letter arrives in the post, and, instantly, I feel cheered. I am sure your husband would feel proud of your positive attitude in seeing the good things in life. Take care Christie, Love, Deidre.