Tidal Wave

Does anyone else have this - if you actually manage to distract yourself for a time, perhaps by watching television or working, when you stop doing that, it’s like a sudden crash of reality like a tidal wave knocking you over and you have to remember all over again. I am having this all the time. I actually think it’s easier not to be distracted and just to keep the grief and upset on an even level rather than have this terrible unloading of it every time you’ve been distracted.

I lost my Mum 9 weeks ago. I look at my life now and how it was this time last year and I don’t recognise that life or myself.

It’s not a good day today and I keep wanting someone to make it alright, to make it better but no-one can. I just miss my Mum so much.


Hi I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum in Oct and know exactly what you mean. The waves of grief are hard, but mine are less frequent now. I miss my mum so much, but sometimes I can go a few days without the tidal wave of grief now. I still think about her all the time, but it seems I can cope with the sadness a bit better. It’s the days when it hits me out of the blue when a random thought pops into my head and it knocks the wind from me and I can’t stop the tears.
I know it’s hard, but I think distraction from grief is good for us. We need a break from it just to give our body a rest. It’s hard when the one person we need to help us through something like this is gone :two_hearts:
Life will never be the same and I don’t believe I will either, but hopefully we can get through this and make our mums proud.
Take care x


Hi Lynn41, thank you for your reply. I’m sorry for your loss too.

You are so right - the one person who would be able to comfort me and make me feel safe and reassured is my Mum. I just want it to stop, I want her to be here. My Mum said she didn’t want me to be sad but I don’t think she realised just how much I would miss her.

I can’t believe I’ve got through the past nine weeks. I don’t know how people do this. It’s horrific.

You take care too xx

1 Like

I thought that was just me, your not alone. I Lost my dad to COVID 7 weeks ago. Remembering my life this time last year dispute all precautions, still lost my dear father.
Just can’t function, cannot sleep at night.
Sending you love and prayers, I don’t think I will be able to lead a Normal life for a very long time. Xx

Hi Sara123

I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t think any of us who have lost someone can ever have normality again as our loved ones were our normality. I hope you are finding some comfort and support on this forum, it has helped me a lot just to know I’m not alone in the way I feel.

Sending love to you and I hope you can soon manage to sleep as that will help you xx


I am sorry to hear of the pain you’re in. I can completely relate to the wavey feeling. I lost my mum and dad when it was a teenager and I don’t recall feeling these waves but when I lost my only sibling last year the grief was completely different to what I remember when I lost my parents. I am a very different person now and it has been really frustrating to try and understand why I’m not the same but then I have to remember that I’m not going to be the same. I have changed as a person but hopefully for the better and the life experiences I have gone through have made me the person I am today (although sometimes I’m not a fan of myself and how I can be at times) I wanted to reassure you that you’re not alone. I can only hope time will heal as it did for me but it doesn’t make the time in-between any easier or less painful. Words don’t make it better but its nice to be able to chat with people who can relate. Sending you lots of love xxx

Hi Sophie 15 and thank you for your comments. I’m sorry for your losses.

One thing I’ve learned is that grief really does change you doesn’t it. I can’t recognise myself.

Sending love to you also, I hope you’re OK xxx

1 Like

Hi @Sophie15
Sorry for your loss. Grief does have a big impact on you. Your just not the same person anymore u feel it’s only you but I’m glad after joining this forum, your not on your own. Hopefully we can support each other get through this difficult time. I lost my father to COVID 7 weeks ago. Sending you love and prayers x