It will be 3 years in April from losing my husband and I am struggling even more.
I feel so lost and almost scared . I hate getting dressed up to go out, and hate to look in the mirror as all I see is extreme sadness .
Does anyone else feel this way? Is this normal to feel like this?
Hi @Stansbabe
I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts, but I just wanted to say thank you for so bravely sharing this with us 
Keep reaching out,
Naoise
I’m not sure that grief gets easier as such, I think we just grow to live with it. There’s no timeline for this.
Remember, there’s no deadline for grief.
It’s 3 years in april for me too and I feel the same maybe even worse tbh.The lonliness getting much worse .I think my family live abroad so don’t see them often has made it worse .I have friends which I appreciate but they have their own family and life .I miss my partner more than ever .xx
Thankyou. 
Isn’t it a strange, horrible feeling?
I really thought time would make it a little easier, but I, as you, feel it is getting much worse. Sending hugs x
Yes but I am much earlier on. I do sort myself most days though.
I have a couple of friends tgat have lost their husbands one 2yrs and other 3yrs and they are saying the same.
I possibly think it may be the grief hitting later than some or maybe coming again! Which must be such a flipping shock and complete head screw!
I think if it was me and it comes again I would seek proffessional help best you can. It’s far too huge to struggle on your own. And hard to leave any caring friends or families door, if you have, which some don’t.
I’m trying at the moment as I am struggling and it’s too great to carry on my own. I won’t get through, I know I won’t, I don’t want to at present. I need to just be able to go out without needing to get back! Hopefully build on it from there.
Hugs x
Yes they say times a healer but ive not found it true for me .ive done the berevment councilling met 2 nice ladies on here try to do things to help but nothing works
So sad so hope you get some ease as some point x
Thank-you absent I am seeing the doctor and I have depression but I do just think my heart was broken when he died and dont think it can mend but I didn’t think I would be still feeling this bad after 3 years it feels relentlessxx
Yes it’s too great. This loss too great. So hope you can get some tiny moments of peace. X
Stansbabe
I am so sorry for your loss.my dear wife passed away in february last year, it will be my first year shortly since losing her.It really is normal to feel as you are.Grief has no timeline or direction.it can hit us anytime and anywhere.I maight think i am not having too bad a day but then the tears hit me again.It really is a rollercoaster this life we have now full of twistsand turns.Seems there are more downs than ups.I still work , that helps sometimes to have human interaction but i put on a mask as inside my heart is broken and i am torn apart.My dear wife passed so suddenly and unexpectedly here at home.I Think grief never really leaves us we just have to try and live with it somehow.
feeling lost and scared really is a natural reaction to our grieving.I too often feel like this.We didnt have children its just me now.This house was once ful of hapiness and joy now its just emptyness, loneliness and sadness.I am like you i hate to look in the mirror now.I dont recognise myself anymore.It really is a hard road we find ourselves on.we have to do our best to cope the best way we can.Talking is so important whether it be in person on phone or on a keyboard.Its ok not to be ok.I have found this site so valuable and comforting to me as we all know and understand how we all feel.Look after yourself that is so important.Take care.
I hope I may be able to offer some hope….it will be 3yrs for me in March and my life has totally changed….for the better. The first year was a blur and full of distractions (good and bad one’s) and coming to terms with the shock of my loss. I have no children and no family as I have had multiple losses within 2yrs. I pushed through, sheer determination and effort, I made new friends ( now solid friendships) and my support network. I came to a point of acceptance of my losses as in I knew I couldn’t change what has happened and I had to release the past and free myself from the burden of grief as I am still here and life goes on. I could only change how I perceived and responded to it all. The first half of the 2nd year was the hardest period of my life and I was full of deep pain, anxiety, fear, loneliness etc. I retired and it added to everything I was feeling as I was even more alone with so much more time to fill. I spent a lot of this time alone, doing a lot of inner growth/work/healing on myself, learning who I now was and what I wanted and didn’t want in my future. I dragged myself out of my comfort zone (or grief bubble ) and took every opportunity I could to improve my life. I have met some wonderful people on this grief journey and each and every one of them taught me something positive about grief and about myself, I gained strength and understanding from every connection I made. Fast forward to Aug 2025 and I met a wonderful man, I was not looking for love, as I was finally whole, complete and happy within myself. I realised I had arrived at a place where I was ready to receive love again and just as importantly able to give it. He lost his wife and so we had a thread bonding us already. 2026, I am happy, healthy, mentally strong and extremely grateful to be here and enjoying life again. I have learnt to accept grief will always be present in different forms, I have learnt loving my husband for 55 years shaped me into where and who I am today and most importantly I have learnt my heart is big enough to carry his love alongside a new love. They are different loves and represent who I am. I also know if this current partner doesn’t work out, it will be fine, I will be ok. Wherever we are on this grief journey is where we are meant to be, just trust the process, trust yourself and never give up on your life, your happiness and your joy
Lyn
Brilliant. What a post. Just what I needed to hear. Real hope there might be a future. Thankyou for sharing and letting us in to your private space. So very kind x
It’s about giving hope to other people on this journey through our experiences. I was like everyone on here who have been in the darkest of places and if I can do this so can we all. I promised myself when I was in the right place I would come back on here solely to help others, it’s my way of expressing gratitude to the help and support I once received on here
Good luck 
Lyn x
Bless so very, very kind. Thanks again x
Hi Stansbabe, I lost my beautiful wife on the 5th April 2023 aged 57 and feel just like you do. Things don’t get better, they just become a new empty, lonely norm where expectations of a happy and contented life with the person you love and planned to have a future with have been eradicated. Now all that’s left are an empty bed, an empty room, a broken heart and an endless yearning for her return to ease the sadness and pain that’s there every day. I miss her more than words can express.
Hi, I am so sorry that you are feeling just as I am, and sending hugs to you. This new way of life is certainly not nice at all. It is such an empty life isn’t it? I feel like I am just existing at the moment and maybe thats normal for now .
Thankyou for your reply and take care
2 yrs in June since i lost my hubby, it does’nt get any easier . I just take one day at a time, i try not to think too far a head. The start of the New year hit hard as its the start of a new year stretching out without him. I believe i’ll never get over losing him and accept that i just have to learn to carry the pain and pretend i’m ok. No one really understands the pain of losing a spouse and secondary losses that go with it unless your going through it. Sending my best wishes.
I heard this so much. And I do find it very hard to hear alot/most people still struggling years down the line. And to think that could me too!
I am 5mths today since the most precious being of mine left me. And he was! Kind, gentle, the best of mankind! He was a true giver to this world and still had more to share, cut short, cruelly!
I am strugging, trying to make sense of this hell I am left in. The one thing I am really trying to do, only recently is to try and love ME, to give love to ME.
And yes no one will ever really understand as they have to have had to truly loved, have love totally! I know completely we had that and I am grateful of it but makes the loss greater, almost too great to carry on.
I’m digging real deep. Whether I surface who knows. That seems to change minute by minute.
It is a total given he would not want me to suffer like this, and by God he tried to stay for me. I could keep going for him but what I am fighting with right now is to do it for ME, to give love to ME, to carry on for ME!