To My Darling Louisa

My precious Louisa, today would have been your 65th birthday. I wish I could say “Happy Birthday”, but I can’t as you are sadly not here and it is not happy. I lost you to this dreadful pandemic that has taken so many. It is a solemn sad day scattered with memories of all the good times we shared over our 25 years together. I am totally heart-broken that we were torn apart by this cruel disease and the future is so bleak, knowing that I can never be with you for the rest of my days. I still find it unbelievable, how can it be possible? The world feels so empty and pointless without you in it my darling.

Just two years ago we celebrated your 63rd birthday and I could touch you, hold you, hear you, kiss you and you were living and breathing flesh and blood. You were the beautiful, loving, caring and fiercely loyal sweetheart I married 20 years previously. We had no idea that in a matter of weeks you’d be gone forever.

I’ll be sitting here shortly holding your ashes, listening to some of the music you loved and missing you so deeply. You’ll fill my thoughts and I’ll try to take solace from the joyful times we shared and the fact that I did have you in my life and how incredibly fortunate I was that you chose me. It will be bitter-sweet and impossible not to be profoundly saddened by what has happened.

Some of our wonderful friends will be here tonight to help me celebrate your life, how I wish you were here to join us with all the wit, humour, fun and mischievousness you brought to such gatherings. We’ll all remember how special you were and raise a toast to your uniqueness.

I love you Louisa and always will.

From your devoted husband, Paul.


Paul, what you have written is beautiful and lovely. I can feel your heartache but also how brave you are. I am sure Louisa would be very proud of you. Take care and thank you for sharing. S xx

Thank you so much for your message Susie, greatly appreciated. We did toast my darling Louisa last night and shared lovely memories. I’m so lucky to have love and support from wonderful friends. Paul xx

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