Hi guys, Today I went to the gym ! My friend gave me the strength to go. ( made me really) The gym is a big part of my life before my darling girl passed away.
I would go 4-5 times a week, and have a good group of friends there. My daughter hated the gym with a passion and would say she could think of nothing worse! But she would have also said “just go mum”
But I felt sick and guilty for going I suppose for just being able too!!?
I explained my absence to the girls and they were supportive and a couple of them cried which set me off but that’s a given !
I wanted to tell you guys on here as you would understand without thinking I suppose the worst of me ? God bless and take care xx
Just to add I think I’ve put this in the wrong place should really be in coping with bereavement!!!
Thanks for sharing that. That’s a massive step and I hope you can reward yourself rather than feel guilty. I push myself to do things, not because I’m interested or enthusiastic, but just to see if I can. I share those same thoughts and feelings and they are difficult to reconcile but maybe that’s just part of the human condition.
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Well done for going to the gym. I hope you will continue and begin to enjoy it as much as you used to. I too feel guilty that I can do things that my daughter can not because she is no longer here.
I have been reading about finding happiness again after bereavement and while it gives hope to hear other’s stories, particularly from those that have lost children, I find it hard to imagine at this stage.
People have said ‘she wouldn’t want you to stop doing things you enjoy’ and ‘it doesn’t actually help her if you don’t do things.’ Yes I know all that but but I’m struggling with a reason to be bothered with very much. That’s not to say that I have not returned to previous activities because I have and they do help.
We will all find our own reasons for getting back to things whether we are nagged, need a diversion, need to get out, or looking for something to make us feel better. It doesn’t matter why. Then hopefully we will find our own reasons for not feeling guilty when we enjoy life again.
Hugs x
Hi Matella, it wasn’t easy believe me I get your reasons I really do, our girls will no longer move forward with their lives and that is the most tragic and our grief is immense for them.
But when my daughter had dark days, I would go round and sit have a cuppa and talk and ask her to look at all what was good in her life make her laugh and just generally annoy her as she told her sisters !!
Now I have to practice what I used to preach, and at this she would make her laugh a lot! Fact!!
You do things in your own time at ur pace, I would give you a massive hug if I could so I’m sending one to you. God bless xx