That poem was beautiful. I find comfort in these (& I hope maybe somebody else will too)
You can shed a tear he is gone,
Or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and prey that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him,
Or it can be full of the love you both shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live in yesterday,
Or you can happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he has gone,
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would have want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
David Harkins (Silloth)
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped into the next room.
I am I and you are you
What ever we were to each other,
That, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
Which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Prey, smile, think of me. Prey for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all it ever ment,
It is the same it ever was.
The is an absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.
I found comfort in the words of Heavens now my home.
If you put that in search engine along with comforting funeral song it will bring them up (by Libby Allan) I had the the one that shows a religious building on the first picture and the videos for 3m 49s I had this at Marks funeral I found the words so meaningfull and the images as well (there is also one with a female singer if it’s a female you are grieving) I sincerely hope it will give someone some comfort, but be warned I’m not sure you can listen to it without tears.
Apologies to anyone who has already read this, just thought it may give comfort to those who haven’t xxx
I find the words to the song I mentioned give me lots of comfort (today’s been an especially hard day for me - no special reason, bit as you all know, it can/does happen for no reason! I find my self repeating the first few lines & God told me not to worry
He said you’d be okay
Because eternity is forever
And we’ll meet again someday
Here’s the full lyrics:
I am sorry that I left you
I know you feel alone
God told me that He needed me
He called me to come home
And what seemed to be an instant…
In the twinkling of a night
An angel gently took my hand
And let me towards the sky
As I ascended into heaven
Beyond the pearly gates
The angels were rejoicing
Then I saw His radiant face
God’s eyes shone down upon me
From the glory of His thrown
He said" Enter into paradise coz heaven’s now your home"
I fought the fight I finished the race
Throughout the trial
I kept my faith no longer do I suffer
My body’s been made whole
I am flying with the angels
And heaven’s now my home
God told me not to worry
He said you’d be okay
Because eternity is forever
And we’ll meet again someday
I fought the fight I finished the race
Throughout the trial kept my faith
No longer do I suffer my body’s
Been made whole
I am flying with the angels
And heaven’s now my home
I am flying with the angels
And my heaven’s now my home.
It’s so hard, you feel why me? why did it happen to us? It’s so unreal, you want nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare even though your mind knows it has happened … you still wish. It’s so cruel and heartbreaking but one thing I am grateful for is finding this site and everyone on it, if we can help each other in any tiny way, that must be a positive because I sincerely believe that anyone who hasn’t lost the love of their life you can never understand the pain the pain we are suffering (& to be 100% honest I didn’t until Mark died, yes every member of my family has died and yes I was heartbroken but this is on a different scale) Take care and lots of love & we’ll be there for each other xxx
This site is great no one knows who you are but people know what everyone is going through no one judges you! Take care everyone my thoughts are with you all x
I am so grateful for this site and everyone on it. The support and understanding is the most enormous help so thank you to each and every one of you. Jean.
Months ago I told our son I’d joined this site, explaining that while i recognise he and his sister have lost dad, I needed someone who actually understood what I go thru each day and I can moan & groan with others who know!!
Thanks to all here.
Yes its so nice to be able to talk to someone that understands what you are going through i lost my Husband 5 months ago and then found out yesterday my Auntie had passed away everyone on here has been so kind and understanding
it is nice to talk ,but it is a very big uphill struggle no two days are the same ,Lost my wife in July I get angry frustrated emotional ,don’t sleep don’t eat ,wonder from one room to another ,being a carer for my wife over the last 5yrs and work full time takes it toll, BUT if I had the chance I would do it All again The only people who can change is us
love to you all
stevexxxx
Just been reading and catching up with these posts. I have laughed and cried while reading them. Your burger story was a tonic as the last few days have been bad ones for me and not sure why.
I thought I had turned a corner but realise I have not.
I wish I could motivate myself . I need to paint my kitchen as my lovely husband had started it but didn’t get to finish it. I don’t mind painting but for some reason I just can’t do it. I keep hoping he will, doesn’t make any sense I know as he can’t possibly. He has been gone for almost five long months now and I have tried to be so positive . I have been for lunch and coffee a few times with friends but prefer to stay at home if I can. I just sit about all day and know it’s not good for my health as eating too much as well.
I think Karen said in one of her posts that she will not let grief win. I very much want to feel like that but at the moment it’s not happening.
Hugs to all xx
I think we all come at this at different angles we are not wallowing we are coping in our own way. Me I have renovated a cottage , never painted as many walls in my life, moved in and have the old family home on the market. However this is how I coped I never stopped, a bit worried now I have. I was also my husbands carer for about 10 yrs as he had really bad mobility issues but I accommodated this as they say in sickness and in health. My life has changed so much but I am thankful I am an independent person and dont mind my own company, but I hate evenings just cant bring myself round to settling down. Finally after 7 months I sleep better. I dont think there is a right way or a wrong way we do what is best for us as we are the one left behind. Some days I miss him so much it hurts and I don`t know why other days I smile and laugh at what we did . I do know that moving was really the best move for me. Just do what is best for you
@Alir
Don’t forget that I have a daughter at home who needs a lot of input from me and needs taking places so I have no choice but to do things. That does help as most of us will do anything for our children so her needs force me to be busy.
It is also longer for me as Richard died last April. I hardly did anything for the first three months other than in the house and garden.
As @Heather56 says, we all have to find our own way and there is no right nor wrong.
Love
Karen xxx
Ahh Lonley. i wish you the very best of luck with your Slimming World diet, I am sure you will soon be fitting into the lovely clothes and your Peter will be pleased. I went shopping this morning as I had to and brought lots of fruit and also chocolate!!
I wish I could hide away some days but if I don’t open my blinds in the morning my neighbour phones me. They get up very early but I don’t as it makes the day longer.
Best of luck with the diet. xxx
