Told to stop wallowing

Thank you Karen. I will get there eventually as am determined. Just slipping backwards at the moment.
XX

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Had a REALLY crap day today. I WFH; in the middle of a meeting, with me talking, boom!! All power lost!?

Next thing, my house alarm is going off! I was so stressed, first because I was in a meeting, second I just didn’t know what to do?! My Martin did all those things…

Power cut…:pensive:

I phoned my brother, he didn’t pick up, so just sat on the stairs crying my heart out…

I just feel so alone & I know my Martin would be heartbroken looking at me now…

It’s just so bloody hard…

Love to you all.
Xx❤️

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@Dottie72
Feeling for you. It’s such a kick in the teeth when things go wrong and our husbands would have sorted it. The pain of the loss comes flooding in and even a small problem seems overwhelming doesn’t it?
Hugs
Karen xxx

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@KarenF just so awful… my tears have leaked into this evening… it’s just awful… bless us all on this dreadful journey… xx​:two_hearts::two_hearts::rose::broken_heart:

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People can be so insensitive. My husband died unexpectedly 6 weeks ago today. I am totally bereft. Heartbroken by the loss of my soulmate of 20 years. But friends support is so variable. I have have “surprised it hit you so hard, thought you were tougher” /“did you expect him to live forever” / “will you start looking for another husband?”

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@Dottie72 It another reminder of all the things our husbands did for us. I am so sorry you had a crap day. Hoping tomorrow will be a better one. Sending love xxx

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@Angelalouisa
That’s dreadful. I must live in the nicest place ever as all I have had is immense support and kindness. I’m also in South Wales - well, south east anyway.
I hope you know you won’t get any of that here.
I too lost my husband totally out of the blue almost 11 months ago now. It still hurts more than I could have imagined but I am making a life.
Sending you love
Karen xxx

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Thank you @sandi , big hug… xx❤️

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Thank you. People just seem too busy to care. Their life goes on.
So many “friends” who pledged support - I haven’t even had a telephone call from most! 12 called on the day of his funeral to say they couldn’t come

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I hope you can find the support you’re missing from friends on this site @Angelalouisa, i have found everyone to be so caring with true understanding and experience of such devastating loss. Keep posting, xxxx

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Hi Karen and Angelalouisa,
I am in South Wales also. Lost my mum Dec 30th. Really struggling at the mo.
Thinking of you
Deborah x

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So little support available - hope this forum may help us all a little.

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My heart goes out to you @Angelalouisa, and I’m so sorry for those insensitive comments you received,especially the last one. People just can’t understand if they haven’t been through the same experience. I’m beginning to understand why some don’t even bother to keep in touch, they don’t know what to say and are afraid of saying the wrong things. We can all relate to you here and feel your pain, you will gain comfort and empathy from everyone on this forum, helping you through your struggle, 'listening" and relating to you.

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Your story is so sad. Like us, worked hard to provide for a comfortable retirement - only for it all to be ripped away.
What you say seems to resonate with so many on this group. At 56 am desperate to understand how I am supposed to get through the coming years. It is just so lonely.

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Thank you Sheila. I am sorry for your loss. I only found this forum a few hours ago. It is clear that losing a loved partner at any age is truly awful. It is a grief like no other. 18 or 80. Love is love. Loss is loss.

I cannot bear to use the term widow. I am and always will be married. I adored my husband. I cannot imagine life without him. Potentially 2 decades of loneliness. I long for the day I will be reunited with him for eternity .

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I hope so Sandi. It is overwhelmingly lonely. I long to be held by my husband. To cwtch and fall asleep in his arms. I miss his gentle touch so much.

The forum helps me realise that I a, not the only one in this position.

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We’re the same age, I’ll be 56 in August, the same month as my husband, his 60th birthday that he won’t get to see. Like you say though, age doesn’t really matter, although I find myself weeping when I read posts from other members who have lost their soulmates at a much younger age.

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Solost , we were not meant to be alone at 56. It feels so unfair. I feel I have been robbed. This is the time we should be planning an adventurous retirement.

How are you coping? What is helping to get you through the day?

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I lost my wife in july I’m 59 this year my wife was 63 This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with I now live day by day The bad ones still out weigh the good ones and I cannot even think about the future I miss her so much Talking to others on this site has helped
steve xx

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So sorry to hear your story. Wonderful that you spent so much time with your mam. But makes the loss and the empty hours so much poignant doesn’t it?
How are you filling your days?

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