It will be 1 week tomorrow that my husbands ventilator was turned off and I lost my world. It’s been so difficult and I’m just not coping at all. I’ve registered his death and I’m wondering if this pain will ever go away. My children have been fantastic and if not for them I would give in. I hope these emotions will stop because they are all consuming.
I’m so sorry to hear about your very recent and devastating loss. Understandably you are finding things really tough, it’s very early days, But I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling
Another good place to get support is Cruse Bereavement offers a helpline, email support, and counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677, firstname.lastname@example.org, http://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services.
Online Community team
Thank you for the message, I really don’t think I’m doing very well and finding everything I do a struggle.
Take care, Yorkie,
I am so sorry that your husband passed away.
Hello Yorkie. Hopefully the community will respond to your post quite soon and you will find some comfort in their comments. Please do consider contacting one of the helplines giving in my previous message, the counsellors are good listeners, sympathetic and informative. Take care.
Online Community team.
Hi Yorkie, I am so sorry you have lost your lovely Husband. I have been where you are and know exactly what you are going through and how you are feeling. Just getting out of bed is an achievement when you feel like you do. You are still in shock and disbelief that this has happened. You need to keep going for your children, they will be your saviour. It’s been six months for me since I lost my amazing Husband and I wont tell you any you will feel despair, sadness and anger for a long time. We grieve for the one we lost but also for the future we thought we had together which has now gone in the blink of an eye. I can’t tell you if it gets better as I am not at that stage myself yet but stick with the forum you will find lots of amazing people who understand exactly what you are going through, we all support eachother and I have made wonderful friends who have helped me every step of the way and I am sure you will too. Look after yourself lovely xx
Hi Yorkie I lost my husband 8 weeks ago all on here know the pain I am not going to lie to you it’s unbearable the emotions we go through I miss Mick so much there are many days I want to be with him but I have 2 children and a granddaughter I have to think of. I found this site helps in talking because you don’t want to burden family it’s each minute hour day hope you find you can talk to anyone on here if needed xx
I know what you are going through! I lost my own darling husband of 35 years three weeks ago and my heart is broken. He was on a ventilator fighting Covid for 3 weeks but despite wonderful NHS care they could not save him. My two daughters have been wonderful but the loss is overwhelming and we miss him so much.
Hi Yorkie. May I say you are not alone in your grief we are all suffering and it will not go in a week or 6wks. I am 12wks down the line and still cry most days for my husband of 2yrs. He was only 64. Use this group as your support and you will slowly start to feel better but it will take its time and everyone is different. Xx
I’m so sorry you’ve lost him … my partner died unexpectedly from a heart attack while out walking our dog when I was at work … I was letting the police in at my work at lunchtime as I was leaving to come home but it was me they wanted … and he was in the morgue … just like that … 64 … life can be so cruel … it’s 4 months and still doesn’t feel real … I’ve tried to keep busy and just get up wash my face get dressed … take dog out and so on … it’s not something we can get over but we have to learn to live without them … it’s hard … I really miss not being able to share anything and everything as we did everything together… somehow it’s comforting that others on here know how tough it is and how horrible it is to lose your loved one … I hope you can unload on here and find it helps you a bit x
I’m so sorry that is such a devastating way to find out. They have both been taken so cruelly from us. We did everything together too and were like a pair of teenage newly weds. My daughter used to say “how can two people love each other that much, get a room” I just said I hope you get this one day. It is heartbreaking to think of the future without him and I know you will be thinking the same. This is where I wish I had a little dog to keep me company. I could borrow one of my daughters but they are big dogs and I want one to cuddle on the settee with. This Covid has made everything different and I want it the same as probably you do xx
So sorry B it’s heartbreaking you don’t realise until you chat on here how many broken hearts there are.
I can’t decide what to do in the future … nothing appeals … we weren’t married and house goes to his daughter so at some point I will have to move but I’m struggling to think where I should go and so try not to think on things too much for now … life has just upended and it’s all unreal just now … keep telling myself to give it all time … brain just scrambles if you let it … everyone has heartbreaking stories on here … it does help though knowing others are going through same loss … maybe you could get a small rescue dog … my wee dog has been a lifesaver
Thanks KimB that’s true I cannot imagine how terrible these covid deaths are and so young … life is just cruel sometimes no rhyme or reason
Hi Yorkie … just thinking of you … do whatever it takes to get yourself through these tough tough days … I have a dog so I was forced to get up dressed and out for a walk … get through the day and cope with a day at a time xx
Hi B. What a shame you are not allowed to stay as losing someone is bad enough without having to pack up and move house as well. I am lucky as it was my house and I keep it. Our wills did say that if I went first he got to live in it, unless he remarried, until he died. But I was only in the house just over a year when I met him and we decorated it and extended it to suit us both and now I am alone in it and not sure I want to stay here. My daughter says not to make Any rash decisions as all still very raw. I hope his daughter realises what you have been through and doesn’t make you leave too quickly
Hi surly even though you weren’t married your husband partner unless he left a will
My friends husband passed 2 years ago she sold her house within a year and regrets it to this day. Me and Mick brought our home 35 years ago I could not imagine living anywhere else very hard at times so quiet and lonely still look for him in each room .
When my friend’s dad died, she and her brother were keen for her to move into a much smaller bungalow, which she did and regretted it for the rest of her life. She and my friend’s dad had had the previous home since they had been married for a few years, together with her husband had watched it being built for a long time.
I have read a number of times that no major decision should be made for any major changes, which moving house is one for at least a year. My friend and her brother realised that it was the last thing she wanted to do and regretted encouraging her to move. They did it with the best intentions but these intentions were not the right ones.
Hi Kim5 and MaryL. Thank you for your advice. I promise not to make any decisions that I might regret.