@JlovesR That’s a really lovely little poem, must have been written by someone on our planet…
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@JlovesR That’s the same. Totally. I try to be the man Sharon made me - try to live by her ways, seek her advice. I wear her opal pendant (she wore it every day since I bought it in 1987) on a chain with no link so it can never come off; and hold it, kiss it, to connect and ask her what she thinks - then I hear her in my soul.
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Sometimes people meaning well say the most insensitive things. Noone can take a loved ones place that easily. Everyone has the right to go through their grief at their own speed. It is good to be in the company of others who understand and allow for that. We also have to allow for the fact that some of those we hold dear will move on at a faster pace and get back to their own lives while we are mire slowly making a new life for ourselves. They may not understand until they too experience that type of love and loss. It could be that in their anxiety for us, they want us to get back to having a more full life, because also they basically want the old us and their old lives, where everyone fit, back too. Anger is also sometimes part of the grief process and can exhibit itself in different ways. All that can be done is to ride it out. I hope that you will be able to forgive them and able to enjoy their company, when it is offered, soon.
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I’m so fed up of being told I’d love to meet up but I’m just too busy. Also, I’ve been thinking of you but too busy to text. How do they think this makes me feel!!!
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I just hope I don’t have Christmas cards from people I’ve not heard from for the last 18 months!
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Everyone uses their mobiles nowadays, googling this that & the other but unable to keep in touch or meet.
G. X
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I’d love to be brave enough to rip them up & put back thru their doors.
G. X
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Hi Grandma the fact you don’t rip up those cards and put them back through their doors shows what a lovely person you are.
A friend dropped something off a few weeks back. Couldn’t stop had to get to Aldi, but when she got home commented to her husband I wasn’t right. Yeah I was having a bad couple of days. But she didn’t couldn’t be bothered to follow up with a text to check in. We met again a few weeks later when she shared this info. I just wanted to say if you didn’t think I was right couldn’t you have contacted after you’d been to Aldi. This lack of care from a so called friend really hurt. I don’t think it’s intentional I think people have no Idea and all too busy being selfish x
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It’s been a year and half since my wife died after 54 years married and I think I am getting worse not better. I keep going back to our courting days when we would go down to to the Dockpark in Dfs and then I would take her home,all these memories keep going round and round in my head I really think I am going mad.I just felt I had to write this down to get it off my chest.
Take care I can see that everybody is in the same boat as me.
Keith Lake
.
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I am the same keep going back to the old times with my Michael it makes me happier he was took suddenly from me 8 months ago aged 53 we were childhood sweethearts 40 years together my whole life has changed I miss him more every day and longed to be with him
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Where would we be without our memories?
Take comfort from them.
G. X
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It is the lonlyness that gets me .
It’s been just over a year since I lost my beautiful Mandy . Last Christmas I was still in shock and in auto pilot . I put the tree up and all the decorations like we always did and spent Christmas with my daughter…which was a huge mistake because their lives carry on while mine is frozen .
This Christmas the full enormity of my loss hit me …I couldn’t put the decorations up or the tree because it would remind me how happy we were together at Christmas.
So I will stay here and cook Christmas dinner myself …but leave an extra plate out .
I too got given the same advise … about dating .
I told them that I still have a wife …we didn’t split up or divorce so we are still married and I love her just the same and I always will .
It would be nice having company and someone to go places with and talk …but no one could or will replace my beautiful girl who was only 61
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I was older than my wife …,I’m 74 , so I should have died when we both COVID but didn’t and she went from being active healthy and happy to being in a ventilator and passing away within two weeks so it was such an immense shock to me …with the feeling that she was dragged away from me in two weeks only . I never got chance to say goodbye to her . 
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Hi @Lonely, first of all my heart goes out to you, I think most of us have this in common, that we are reminiscing about the days when we first met our husbands. I have the images of those fairytale days constantly in my mind. I’m the same age as you said your mum was (55) when your dad passed, I was 53, two years ago when I lost my beloved husband suddenly, and he was only 57,just like your dad. I can understand too how she must have felt, it’s so true that people just cannot comprehend what we are going through if they haven’t experienced this themselves. I wouldn’t have understood before either. My husband and I have also always been " young at heart", going on motorbike rides, listening to and playing our favourite 60s/70s/80s pop/soul/folk/rock music. I’m sure we would have continued living this way if a sudden cardiac arrest hadn’t cruelly, fatefully and prematurely taken him away from me and my two children.
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I totally get what you said about Christmas cards. I’ve had 3 so far from people who sent sympathy cards - do they not see how upsetting wishing me a merry Xmas is ? I can’t bring myself to write any as signing it kate instead of kate and Stephen just tears my heart out.
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Same here…it’s brutal seeing the missing name. I am not sending any cards apart from to my kids. I still have the sympathy cards piled up and they only stopped arriving last week.
I had the worst day today…tonight I feel a tiny bit brighter. Hoping tomorrow will be better.
Wishing you all a restful night.
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I totally understand how you are all feeling. Yesterday I received a card from my cousin in London. We used to exchange Christmas cards every year, ever since I left the UK nearly 30 yrs ago. Then it all ‘naturally’ stopped when I lost my husband suddenly. She just sent me a condolence letter which was kind of her. Now this year, after two years, she’s sent me a card but I appreciate it because she didn’t write the usual ‘Happy/Merry Christmas’ stuff, she just asked how we were and sent us her closeness to us. So I will exceptionally send her a card, thanking her and wishing her and her husband all the best.
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@Tim that’s exactly how I feel - a positive thought for me is that my darling Sharon and I adored each other until she passed - so still do. I will always wear my wedding ring, but have blacked it so it’s a mourning ring and I will always be married to my girl - forever…
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@Shaz69 Sharon, you totally nailed it again.
I’ve just downloaded that… Its like we had a life with our soul mate, then one day we didn’t. Like this Shit Planet WTF - nothing counts any more and there is no way anyone can suggest there was a reason. There isn’t. Its just shit and should never have happened…
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