My partner had a cardiac arrest on me. After doing CPR on him, the ambulance arrived 16 minutes in. They got him back with five defibrillator shocks, but after spending seventeen days in critical care I was told he had irreparable brain damage due to lack of oxygen to the brain. The doctors recommended he be given palliative care, so I was allowed in to the hospital to watch him die. I wish I were dead too because I cannot live without him.

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Hi Suzanne, I’ sorry x So sad that you are feeling this x It is such a hard place to be x I hope you can have a few good hours in your day x

That’s so awful Suzanne13. Absolutely heartbreaking. Sending you so much love and strength. Life is just so cruel.

@Suzanne13 this sounds an awful way to have your partner go. I feel so bad for you. its just absolutely horrible.

I did CPR on my husband too but he died in our bedroom.

I also cannot see how to live without my husband. How do we do that and what for is difficult. I decided I will try as I want to look after our cats and not cause my close family more pain. I don’t look forward to it though and life will never be the life we had. in fact all if a sudden i am not that person but some new empty person I don’t know.

Do you have any people around you? I hope so. Sorry again and thinking of you though there is no comfort to be found really. just keep getting to the next hour x

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Hi @Suzanne13, I am so sorry you lost your husband in such an awful way. You are not alone in your grief as everyone on his sight is gong along the same horrible bumpy road. I can’t imagine life without my Bill either and Christmas is looming like a big black cloud but we will get through it however hard it will be. Get help from Sue Ryder and message on her as all our hearts are breaking and we will be there for each other. Sending massive hugs your way. Shona x