Trust and friendship

Y do some people think it is so easy to move on it isn’t. I have lost my trust some one I have none all my life has been texing me I thought it was totally inacent as he has been a friend and part of my life as long as I can remember his mum and dad and mine were friend’s for ever. What an idiot I am he came round for coffee and we remanist for an hour one morning and it was I must admit nice to have that concession all was fine untill he came after work one night then it turnd into something else I told him to go he did in the end I was left wondering what I felt about it all I had this speech prepend about how I was not in the market and may not be for some time if ever I don’t like being on my own so company I don’t mind and would quite like but nothing else . I found out that thats not what he was after 2days after I was told he’s girlfriend was moving in he didn’t even tell me he had one I feel sick to think that enyone would think that that’s OK let alone him (is that what’s happening men see you as desperate so you would go for a!!!) I miss Alan desperately I hate being alone but I won’t be enyone go to. My trust in people is waning thank you all for being there take care even one

hello Cj13.
I know what you mean, a good friend of my late hubby, who was so kind to me when he was ill, made a sort of move on me.So upsetting in all sorts of ways.
I certainly made it clear, not in an angry way, that there was and still is only one man for me and always will be

Thanks you Lancashirelass I no won thing I feel sorry for there partners we had something special there not going to no that love and trust in each other I no it hurts now more than anything I have ever felt. That tels me it was real and very special what we sherd with ower partners. Take care x

Why do these toerags think they can make a move, when you are grieving the loss of your loved one? It makes me so angry, I am going to answer my own question, it is because they think/know that a woman is vunerable.

Three weeks after my Husband passed a male neighbour said to me that I was still a good looking woman and not to worry as I would probably ‘bag’ myself another husband! :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: :angry: what planet are these people on eh?

An idiot actually dared say this to me at my husband’s funeral ! I’ll never ever speak to him again x

Mary, you made me laugh with your term ‘Toerags’. It an expression I use all the time. In fact, at work, me and my colleague have a ‘Toerag List’. A tad childish, I know, but it does give us a laugh :joy:

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It is not a term we hear very often in the North of England :grin:
Anything which makes you laugh is good. :smile::joy:

Love a toe rag. :rofl::rofl:


Thank girl you really make me smile :slight_smile:

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When Steve and I went on a sight seeing tour of HMS Victory we learnt what a ‘toe rag’ was. Please google it!!! It made us all smile on the tour.

Hi there, yes I’m afraid some men do see women as desperate. When younger and newly divorced I had not one but two male friends try it on, both married, as well as two other annoying encounters while I was married. I was shocked that men could even attempt to come on to a friend. I found these ‘toerags’ pathetic, so don’t let one ‘friend’ make you lose confidence or trust, he’s not worth giving a thought, concentrate on yourself and your grief.

Hi there all please don’t class us all in the toerag bracket I lost my wife Jane 15 months ago love her to bits and always will,why do these so called men have to let blokes like me down,l’m 70 on my own except for little dog why these so called men can’t be happy just for good company I am perhaps old fashioned to have the company of someone for a meal,a drink ,a drive ,a walk with little dog be it once a week,once a month every so often things we didn’t do very often when Jane was alive because as she said i had to spend so much time at work.
To me these sound like big men with what you may call little egos
Can’t put what I’m thinking!!.
Many regards and hope for in my case the simple things in life and grief MM69

I am not going to apologise for my sex because I know only too well what men can be like. We are not all like that and of course all you ladies know that. It is inexcusable and very lacking in any sort of understanding when men come on like that. Why on earth would they think you want that kind of attention after bereavement? I just can’t get my head round that one. Having male friends is fine, if they are supportive and not demanding.
It seems to me that women have a hard time in that respect all their lives. There is always some idiot male prepared to try it on. I have the utmost respect for women. It’s much easier to be man than a woman in this world for all sorts of reasons.
I for one would not want any sort of intimate relationships yet. And it will certainly be a long time before I do, if ever.
‘Metalmicky’ really sums it up. We have to be careful not to be all tarred with the same brush. Female company is very welcome to me and I do have lady friends who are so helpful. But there it ends.
‘Toerags’ doesn’t do them justice. I would use much stronger language. It says a lot about women and their caring when we realise that the majority on here are women. Thanks to all the ladies who contribute.
Take care all. Blessings and if I may be permitted, Hugs. XX


No not all men are the same and you guys on here are grat you no what it’s like and we appreciate you and understand what you are going through.

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John I’m sorry I hope you don’t think I was having a dig at all men. I know your perfect (our joke). :smile: There are some lovely men out there. I have always enjoyed male company, possibly preferring them to women. I enjoyed working with men and have male friend now at the allotment and when walking. I had men/boys as best buddies and it is unfortunate if they tried to take that friendship a step further and kill it all together. As a 12yr old I had a male friend that was 16yrs, we was best friends and had the same hobby so we spent hours together. As I got older I had boyfriends and he had girlfriends but still we remained best pals and the only time he kissed me was on the cheek at my engagement party. Can you imagine what would be said nowadays a 12yr old girl and a 16yr old boy!!! inseparable.
Friendships can be just that regardless.

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hi Ladies,
very sorry to read that you’ve had the misfortune of having arseholes try to take advantage,why some men are like this I aint got a clue.these men have been very insensitive uncaring like to think a few men in similar circumstances would be an ear to listen and a voice to give sensible help and advice without anything untoward crossing there minds.
sadly some people of both sexes think losing a partner wife husband,can be handled quickly and we can move on to another partner.these people obviously have not found there true soulmate and are insensitive and shouldn’t be thinking or saything such things.
sorry but thats my humble opinion for an occasionally opinionated man.

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