Trying hard

Hello everyone I an new to this forum,I lost my husband recently he was 51 it was all very sudden.like all of you on here I’m heartbroken and feel lost.M Daughters live away and carry on as normal,I feel I have to put a face on every time I see them.My daughters wanted christmas decorations up so let them do this but I’m sat looking at them and want to pull them down how can I pretend everything is alright when it isn’t. I went to see a councilor and felt afterwards from their advice I just have to get on with things and that the situation is very hard.I even bought a turkey on one of my good days,one of my daughters said she would get the rest of food as I don’t want to be in shops the closer it gets to christmas all I want to do is sit on the sofa and have a cuddle.I felt I was copying quite well but now I just want to stay in bed.sorry for going on but I don’t know who else to talk too

Hi Skylark im very sorry for your loss (im 57 my wife was 41 432106 she passed on her birthday ) the christmas decorations i understand im doing no tree no cards or gifts to anyone .Also the shops i went to Morrisons last Monday someone wished me mery christmas i nearly bit there head off .Im going to try to go to Asda early hours of the morning .If i dont get up ill use local shops .You have to celebrateChristmas(i didnt know the government had passes a law saying so lol) Take each day as it comes .Who says you have to put on a brave face my advice be yourself.Try have some me time you deserve it a bar of chocolate a dvd etc .Because the nightmare will still be there after the me time .Your brain needs a rest to combat each day .Dont say sorry for going on (i dont on here).Its the 1 place we all have in common friendship hug Skylark (dont be a stranger on here )

Hello Colin, I’m sorry to here about your loss too thank you for your kind words.you used the word nightmare that’s exactly what I feel I’m going through.Yes I’ve had lots and lots of chocolate I can’t be bothered to cook.I to have an asda near me and I go at 7 at night not to many people around but expect there will be this week.Regards your comment about the person who wished you a merry Christmas it bought a smile to my face as I can relate to that proves what we are feeling is normal.No I won’t be a stranger I tried the cancer chat forum but hardly anyone answered…take care Colin hope you get through christmas talk soon.Debbie

Hi Skylark,

Another member of the out of hours supermarket club here, mine is Aldi first thing in the morning as well as evening Asda visits. I have perfected what I understand is called a resting bitch face this December so no one dares wish me a Merry Christmas. What struck a chord in your first message was you saying all you wanted to do was sit on the sofa and have a cuddle. I crave cuddles too and have had all too few in the five months since my Mum passed away.

I send you cyber cuddles

Mel
Xx

Thank you Mel, I too send you cuddles,I’m looking forward to my sister visiting in a few days time so I can have some it’s not much to ask for is it.I’m feeling really down today as the days are getting closer to christmas.liked your resting bitch face comment it made me laugh for a split second.I won’t be going out now until after Christmas as I get too upset.I hope you get through christmas and have good support around you.take care.Debbie.x

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