Trying not to ruin my life.

It’s coming up to a year since my mum passed suddenly… I cant shake this feeling of unhappiness, on the outside looking in my life is perfect but i dont feel like im ‘living’.

I cant even articulate what ‘living’ means to me, i know that gwtting up everyday and looking after everyone else isnt my idea of living. I feel alone and im trying hard not to make huge life changes while i feel this way.

I go between feeling nothing or feeling too much at all and anyone i talk to looks at me like im delusional.


Hi, so sorry things are so hard for you at the moment. Have you considered some counselling so that you can share how you feel? Other than that, this forum is useful for normalising everything you’re going through. Grief is a long, hard journey and everyone does it in their own way. There are so many emotions and days can be up and down. Keep reaching out in some way, best wishes xx


Hello Aw91

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Grief can feel like a rollercoaster of different emotions, and anniversaries can feel extra hard. We have some advice on coping with anniversaries at Remembering a loved one: death anniversary | Sue Ryder

I also wanted to share a few other Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care, Rhi


@Aw91 first of all i would like to send you a big hug. Sorry for the loss of your mum. I completely understand where you are coming from. In July this year it will be a year since my mum passed. I feel like i’m just living as well whatever ‘living’ is, I appear happy on the outside but i carry so much unhappiness inside. I have been trying to take one day at a time. You are not alone but totally understand how you feel. I too often feel very alone.


Hi Rosie, i did have counselling after she passed as I’d convinced myself I’d killed her. She died of legionaires pneumonia and we still don’t know where she caught it from…

It helped but i found that it kept me in the headspace of grief when i wanted to ‘move on’.

Thank you, ive found its getting harder as the practicalities have been done and now its the emotions left behind xx


HI Rhi24,

Thank you, thats very kind. Im so sorry for your loss too, you’re not alone i promise.

Its a very difficult loss to go through, im sure with time we’ll learn to feel happy again. I know our mums wouldnt want us to be sad although that doesnt make it any easier! Xx

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Im sorry for your loss, its been a year since I lost my mum. Im still struggling. Im exhausted constantly and feel my family don’t understand. I hand on heart can say i know how you feel. Youre not alone. If I can help by chatting or listening i will. Lucy x

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I totally agree with you. I know our mums would not want us to be sad. Thank you for your kind words of support x