Trying to get help from Cruse

Please can anyone tell me how I can get help from Cruse over the telephone. I have waited as long as 30 minutes but all I get is a voice telling me that all advisors are busy. They aren’t taking e-mails either at the moment. I really need some sort of counselling after losing my husband in June this year. Thank you. Eileen

Hi Eileen

I am sorry you are having such difficulty getting through to Cruse. It is frustrating and the last thing you need when you are desperate to get some help. I have heard they have a very long waiting list. Someone at my support group said she has been waiting 3 months to see someone. She keeps asking if she is still on the waiting list and apparently she is but they just cannot cope with the long list with people wanting support at the moment. Have you tried going to your GP and asking to be referred to someone as I think that would be quicker as your GP will see you are desperate. I put a message on this site asking if anyone knew of a bereavement support group near to where I live and Priscilla responded and suggested a couple of websites and I have now joined their bereavement support group and find it very beneficial and helpful. That is another option. If you can afford it how about going privately to see a counsellor? I know they are expensive but I think it is money well spent if it helps you. Another option is the charity ‘Mind’ as I think they do bereavement counselling too.

Good luck with trying to get some help.
Best wishes from Karen

Hello, Karen, and thank you for replying to my posting. It was my GP who recommended Cruse but I have given up on trying to contact them. It just goes to show how many desperate, grieving people there are out there. I could never afford the fees to go privately so I will keep searching. There is a group which meets once a month at a local church but I think I need more than that. I will try them though. I live in a sheltered flat where pets are not allowed. Shame, because I love cats and one would be company. My biggest problem is loneliness which is not easy to solve. I do have family nearby but they have busy jobs and work long hours so I don’t see them as often as I would like. Over the past couple of weeks I have noticed that I don’t cry as much and seem to be accepting that Bill has gone. I still have days when I seem to have a black cloud sitting over me but generally, I feel better than I did a month ago. Hopefully, I am moving forward. The only thing I am dreading is the inquest on 8 Nov. The Coroner has asked me to attend as I was with Bill when he had the accident which resulted in his death. Maybe once that is over I will be on the road to recovery. Best regards, Eileen

Hello Eileen, it’s good to hear you have had a glimmer of light in your grieving recently. In some parts of the country you can self-refer to your NHS counselling service, in Lancashire it’s called “Mindsmatter”. The counselling is what they call “person-centred” though and not really what I think is an effective method for grief. I’m not an expert though and it may be ok for some people. As Karen mentioned, there is always the private option. I did think of this myself but being sceptical I always wonder just how well qualified and experienced these counsellors are as they work alone don’t they, and once certified can pretty much operate as they wish. At least with the NHS they are regularly monitored I expect. I wish you well.