Hi everyone,
I’m turning 40 this summer, but it feels bittersweet, I miss my mom, who I know would of fussed over me, & tried to make it special, 
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At the moment I feel very much alone, my boyfriend is a sweetheart, but has a mental health condition, & still has both his parents, so doesn’t understand. He actually asked me, do I want a present for my birthday, or should he just give me the money, & the only way I get a birthday cake since mom passed, is if I buy it myself, & then there’s my so-called family, who I’m still totally 100% disgusted with, 
. When mom was dieing, dad would get drunk, & make the most grotesque jokes about how he would “dance on her grave” after her death, but after she passed, insisted on putting hearts on her gravestone, all for appearances 
. 2 years later, having met someone new, decided he wanted to move house, problem, I part own & live in the house, but when I looked into it, have no options when it comes to moving, my third of the house isn’t enough to afford my own place, because I part own this house I don’t qualify for counsel, on benefits can’t get a mortgage, the few places that would give a mortgage to someone on benefits would only loan a small amount, not enough to buy with, even looked into shared ownership, housing associations, & supported care, with no luck 
. Despite me having no opinions, dad got nasty, bullying, verbally abusive, I ended up in hospital a few times that year, twice from suicide attempts, & once with an issue with my heart because of the stress. What’s more, when dad was looking at houses for him & his (at that time) girlfriend, he was including MY third in HIS budget for HIS house 
, he was expecting ME to let him use (or take) MY third & leave me with nothing WTF! He found a place he liked, but way over budget even with my third, but I still couldn’t, (& can’t) move! In Oct 2023, the estate agent rang him to say someone else’s offer had been accepted on the house he wanted (that he couldn’t afford anyway,) he retaliated by phoning me late at night, drunk, swearing at me, berating me, & changed his will completely cutting me out, leaving it to my sister & saying when he passes, the house HAS TO be sold, leaving me homeless, . I’m glad to say, I have since had legal advice, & been told, A) he doesn’t have the authority to say “The house has to be sold!” While I’m living in it, they would technically have to take me to court, & a judge would decide, which in the first place would cost them thousands, & secondly would take time, as always with legal stuff, the application alone could take months. B) I live here, pay more that half of the bills on it, & am special needs which proves I’m vulnerable, & what’s more, my third was gifted to me (at mom’s insistence) to make sure I would always have a safe & secure home that couldn’t be entailed away from me, that was the purpose of it, while there are no guarantees, a judge could decide either way, but they can’t take away the third I actually own, even if a judge ruled the we had to sell, I would still get my third, minus capital gains tax, (because it was gifted to me).
Sadly dad doing that to the will means I constantly have the worry hanging over my head of what will happen when he passes. My sister has made painfully clear that she is ONLY concerned with lining her own pocket, & since dad has also given her power of attorney, she is very much in control. Getting to the point, I am quite rightly disgusted with them for what they’ve done, & the way they’ve treated me, & yet they have the nerve to treat me like that, then try to pretend like everything’s ok & ask “what do I want for my birthday?” As if nothing has happened GRRRRR!!! I AM SEETHING!!! I don’t dare say it to them, I still have to live in this house, so don’t want to turn it into a war zone, but if I could say outright how I feel, I would tell them how utterly disgusted I am with them, they are the worst bullies I had the misfortune to be related to, & I wish I did have a safe way of moving, because if I did, I would have done it years ago & never look back. Mom didn’t deserve the way they treated her, dad bangs on about everything HE’S done, looking for attention, but has NEVER appreciated anything mom or I have done, or any of the shit he’s put us through. His drinking has ALWAYS been a problem, over the years there are countless Christmas’s, birthdays & holidays HE has wrecked! None of us deserved that! When he got made redundant, it was MOM who helped him set up his own business, MOM who cared for all of us, including him when he got ill, … She was too good for him, he never deserved her .
I’m dreading my birthday, it really doesn’t feel like there’s anything special to celebrate.
Hi @Pandaprincess,
Thank you for sharing this with the community 
I just wanted to wish you the best of luck with your 40th birthday. Please let us know how you get on.
Take good care,
Alex