It is coming up to two and a half years now.
What do others feel at this time after? I was talking to someone who is a year further down the line and she has started to get panic attacks like me.
I have struggled with them all along. I find everything at the moment is getting on top of me although I struggle along. I got upset because I thought I would get sone help from Talking Therapies and got tossed off. They said I had had some already but had been lead to believe I could so felt such mixed messages. Why advertise it and then you can’t. Just got stuck with an online group session but better than nothing I suppose. I have found them frustrating before though when the same people talk too much so do not get a chance unless there is a skilled person handling it
Hi Enorac,
I am two and a half years on since my mum passed. I get panic attacks sometimes and I never used to. So I think it’s normal still after two years.
I never had any counselling. I can’t seem to open up to strangers face to face and if they haven’t experienced grief themselves I doubt it would help me. I have found using this site has helped me such a lot. Knowing you are going through emotions that everyone else on here is has certainly made me realise I am not going mad.
It’s a hell of a journey going through grief. And it changes through time but still doesn’t get better. I am learning to live with it always being there.
I have changed as a person. Am more withdrawn, anxious, calmer, unmotivated and generally not really interested in very much. I am really hoping to work on all this though as my mum would hate me to be like this.
I just wanted to reply to say you are not alone in feeling as you do.
Thinking of you
Deborah x
Enorac, I am nearly 3 years on from losing my wife to terminal cancer, I go to a bereavement group once a month and I find that helpful, people outside of that group say it gets better with time, it does not for me, I am learning to cope with my loss
2 years for me on the 12th of this month and feel like im getting worse it seems relentless .Ive had councilling been to bereavement groups carry on because no other choice .No family near me which doasnt help .So totally understand how you all feel .
Thanks for all responses. Be interesting to see how you go on.
Hi Deborah, I too thought it was not a good idea to a bereavement meeting as I did not think they understood what it was like to loose a loved one, how wrong I was, I understand that everyones grief is different and it could take a very long time to move on, but the people at these meetings are a refreshing bunch of people who have gone through the same grief as us, they need our help as much as we need there’s.
Feel free to message me anytime.
Regards Mel
Hi MelvynW1,
Just want to say I am so pleased that the counselling has worked so well for you. Thank you for your update as I am sure it will help lots of people going through all this. And especially as you didn’t think initially it would. It’s all about trying different things to help us manoeuvre our way through grief and finding what suits us best.
Deborah
Good afternoon Deborah,
It was nice to hear from you, grief and the way we approach it is all an individual way, there is no specific time limit or way to approach grief, we are all different and have different approaches to it, the way I am going about it suits me but it is very difficult at times, the loneliness and the thought of the end of the tunnel never getting any nearer is daunting, I am learning that the more I talk to like minded people the slightly easier it is getting.
There is so much in life I still want to do but I sometimes feel that I do not deserve to be happy again now my wife is no longer here, it is a decision I must face and think what I would I want for my late wife if it was me who went first.
You take care Deborah
Speak again soon
MelGood afternoon again Deborah,
sorry for the last message that I sent, there seems only parts of it there, perhaps I pressed the wrong button or something, anyway, I hope you are well, what I was trying to say before is that everyone’s grief is different and we all approach grief differently there is no set procedure or time limit. I have struggled with lot’s of things since my wife passed away, I find life lonely if I allow it, so I try and go to meetings and talk openly to others about the way I am feeling, there is still so much in life that I want to do and I am sure my late wife would have wanted me to do those things like I would of liked her to continue enjoying life if I had passed first. I often think I do not deserve to be happy in life without her but I know that is not true, anyway Deborah you take care and we will chat again soon I hope.
Mel