I’m just sitting in my car outside the dentist after 3 small fillings and a clean. While waiting to be seen they played (Everything I Do) I Do It For You, on the radio. I tried really hard to hold back the tears, but I was in bits as I went in. He offered to reschedule but we got there! Such a lovely kind man. It’s all done!
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Nigel, you are starting to get to be able to manage it a bit, you are doing well.
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A big hug x
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Hi, I bet you didn’t know a Pocahontas, we had one at the school I worked at 
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Im on the second train on my way back home now. I had a lovely morning catching up with my friends. I got off the train and was waiting for the bus and one of my friends saw me and gave me a lift to our coffee shop. This is what I have missed. I have got them all on high alert to keep their eyes and ears open for one of those flats. One of them has two friends that live there so she is going to say to them to watch out for any coming on the market.
My SIL called me to say that he is coming over to tidy the electrics in the garage as they look a bit messy. Hope I get home before he arrives.
I looked at my wee village today and I know I am doing the right thing moving home.
My friends are waiting for the invite for afternoon tea in my new flat. They know I love doing things like that. Champagne will be on the menu as well 
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Just need to keep my fingers crossed. Xxx
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Nigel, it’s always the music that gets you isn’t it. I need to call my dentist as I had to cancel my husbands the day after he died and I broke down when she said “do you want to make another appointment” she was lovely and made an excuse to cancel mine as it was later on in the day. I’ve not had the courage to call them as I keep thinking about that day.
Well done for coping xxxx
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Nigel there is nothing like a song to evoke memories it happens to me all the time sending 
x
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Glo,
Have a lovely afternoon xxx
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Thank you all - yes the music is so evocative. I knew what would happen as soon as it came on - I’d had that in the car at the weekend - with the same song and the same result. But at least I could turn that one off.
It’s been a very emotional morning today, partly sad but mainly happy emotions, but which still left me in a sobbing mess, of absolute joy and wonder at other people’s thoughtfulness. I’m just editing down the story otherwise it would take hours to read (and Peaches and others already have a hoard to read!) 
As Arnie said, I’ll be back…! Tee hee. 
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I’ve just heard only the lonely by Roy Orbison think that sums all of us on this site up unfortunately x
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Thats the song me & Sue danced to on are wedding night and the song Sue’s coffin went into during her service. I have two ticket’s to see Bryan Adams next month to give her something to look forward to. Not a chance of me going alone. I would just be stood there crying.
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Nightwish. I’ve been to two concerts alone since November. The first was booked with Mary due to be going too - Elkie Brooks. It was really tough, but something I had to do - for me and for her memory. I sat on the seat where I wouldn’t have to look at the empty one next to me, and just put my coat on there. I’ve since booked and been to The Who at the Royal Albert Hall on my own - a group we’d booked to see together before it was cancelled.
Amazingly I got through both without crying, even though the first time was incredibly sad. I surprised myself that night as it was back on 9 January, less than 2 months after Mary died. But only you can decide whether you can handle such a difficult situation. I wasn’t sure until the very last moment.
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OK - I hope this isn’t too long!
Around 9.00 am this morning I was sending a WhatsApp message to my friends and I attached a copy of part of a picture frame giving the meaning of “Mary”. How true the words are.
But that’s not the emotional but very happy story I have to tell. (possible tears warning - hopefully of delight)
My cousin in Ireland was contacted my someone on Ancestry who had traced her through DNA records. Two days after Mary died, she sent me the email she’d received, not knowing that Mary had died at that point. It was from someone in Australia, who turns out to be my 4th or 5th cousin, I think. In turn she’d been contacted by someone whose friend had come across my father’s snooker cue in a British Legion club when the building was being demolished. It was identified by information on it, or on the case. The person who found it wanted to return it to the family. I’m the only snooker or pool player of the family as it happens. My cousin sent me the details of the person who was doing the tracing for them. Obviously, I then told her of Mary’s death.
Anyway, I also contacted the person doing the tracing. I sent him lots of information and our family tree going back to 1525. His ancestry is not far from Glemsford where we originate from. He had been trying to find a link between our families which he believed existed.
This morning, we were all talking about names here. Well, there are some problems trying to trace our family tree due to different forenames being used. I’m known by my second forename (that’s another story) and my father was known by his birth name but mostly by a nickname from the second world war or by the name he used with his art painting and teaching (his second forename). The contact didn’t know all this, so I was able to advise him. This then confirmed I was the person they were looking for. He grew up in the town where my parents retired to and still has family and friends there, and also has family just a few miles from where I live now. The person who found the cue was sadly now thinking of keeping it, and the case.
The contact already knew about our family connection to Glemsford from 1776. Later in November he contacted me again and said his friend was now looking to return the cue but wanted to meet my contact before deciding what to do.
We corresponded for a few weeks but at his suggestion we put that on hold just after the funeral, when for the first time I told him about Mary. I did send one more email with more information at 3.45 am on 13 December – I obviously wasn’t sleeping well that night! Anyway, he continued his research into the family and any connection.
Today at 9.00 am I received an email from him, saying he has booked to fly to the UK at the end of May, and is staying until early July. He now lives just outside Tulsa Oklahoma. Not that far from Peaches in the scheme of things! All of this was going on around the same time we were all talking about our names this morning and was just an amazing coincidence when you add in our family names differences. He said there were two others involved in the recovery and restoration of my father’s cue. One word there jumped out at me – RESTORATION! Does he really mean it has been restored, or does he mean restoring it to the family. I’m not sure but either would be totally fantastic and so meaningful to me in particular. Both my sons play pool to a good standard too. By this time, I was crying! With total joy, but sad that Mary doesn’t know anything about this. She’d be so thrilled.
He’s invited me, and my two boys, to meet with him in the town where the cue was found, to meet the people involved there who would be thrilled to hand it over to us personally. He also wants to get the local press involved, and to take me and the boys out to dinner. The press would almost certainly be interested as my father was very well known in the town and was a friend of Vera Lynn. She even came to his funeral.
By this point I was a complete sobbing mess!!! I’m definitely going to accept his invitation – I just hope it’s not too emotional on the day! What an incredible moment this morning!
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I did go see Sue’s favourite author,when she did a talk at Alnwick. I went for Sue not me. Sue always sat on my right so i could not look there. I gave her ticket to one of her book club friends who she also worked with. I managed it with only a few tears. I just can’t see myself at a gig without her at the moment.
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Good morning, Darlings!
The tech buy set up my new laptop. It will take some getting used to for sure.
I now have streaming channels and oh boy! I binged a show called “The Perfect Couple” yesterday. 6 episodes. What a plot twister! Recommended to all!
Tried to watch “The Lincoln Lawyer”, but after 1.5 episodes found it too boring to keep watching. The main character is such a horrid actor I can’t get passed it. Actually, everyone in the show is dreadful. Maybe I was just moody.
Tackled The Beast’s sofa. HOURS! It is a sectional and somehow he managed to separate the sections, but I got them back together and de-haired everything. It is all so heavy! Everything is tough with just one to do it all. Right?
My head is still stuffed but getting better. Have needed a sleep aid the last 3 nights. Six hours max. I try to nap, but the neighbors are having some construction around their pool and The Beast barks at the workers every time they get tools from their trucks and the phone will ring with those phantom calls where no one is on the line.
The Beast goes to his doctor today, I wanted to give him a bath first, but the sofa took all my energy. Surely, he isn’t the first stink pot to show up for shots.
I cannot believe the dog hair! He should be bald by now. My GF says “you need to have him shaved and neutered” as she does her dogs. I would NEVER cut off his gorgeous curls or his “you know whats”.
A friend is coming in from North Carolina (state on the east coast) this Saturday for a 2-night visit, so I made up her bed last night. She is the most energetic of people and is all rev’d up about doing something on Sunday - all day. It will be a challenge for me. What I really need is for people to come and just visit, not a day of busy.
Her daughter may be moving to New Orleans for nurse anesthetist school and her mom told her she could live with me until she finds a spot. Umm. Hmm. Please let her get into school in North Carolina! I would hate to say “no”, but the last thing I want is someone living here with me for an extended time. Three days is all I can handle. I’ve only met her daughter once and very briefly at that. Pray for me.
They don’t get it. It is kind of like asking a person with a broken leg to go hiking; they might be able to with crutches, but no rough terrain and not for too long.
I feel guilty about nothing. I had no control over the deaths of my loved ones and nothing I could have done would have saved their lives. None of you are miracle workers either. Nothing you did or did not do had any bearing on the deaths of your spouses.
I hope you all wake to a glorious day of peace and contentment. Deep breaths and march forward, Soldiers.
Lots of hugs and kisses all around.
PS: The Beast is Jack. We both thought of that name on the way to pick him up. Oscar was choice #1, but his dad was named that, so. . .
Here’s a photo from 2012 of our Rhino hunt. No, he is not dead. My husband darted him with a sedative, the vet was there for blood work and to look him over, then he and his brother were transported to another area where there were girl rhinos unrelated to them. Conservation and protection of the species.
I was shielding his eyes from the sun.
And here we are with a Cape Buffalo. He is dead. We ate him. He is mounted in my living room - just the neck and head.
That’s strange - Mary always sat on my right as her arthritis made it hard to turn her neck to the right! I know that will have been hard, so well done. I’ve got a concert in October, Al Stewart, so I’ll see how that goes. But I agree it’s hard and some would just be too hard for me to think of doing either. xxx
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Oh those ancestry searches can be surprising. My cousin was surprised that he fathered a child at college spring break 45 years ago. He was not pleased with the news when she contacted his dad who was thrilled. It caused a bit of a mess as most of us were thrilled to have another cousin, but he made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her or her family and didn’t want her to interfere with his.
Seems harsh to me, but I am not the one in that position.
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There is so much chatter on here today. Nigel those pesky songs knock us for 6 when we least expect it. Sometimes I choose to listen to the ones that upset me, but then I am prepared. I have 3 gigs lined up this year. Coldplay is going to be a hard one they are a few of theirs that get me going but ‘fix you’ is going to be impossible to listen to without crying. Music was so big in both of our lives, I feel I take him with me when I go.
I did my DNA only after my father died. It was for a silly reason. My mother always pointed out how different I was to the rest of the family and then followed it with the line ‘you know I was unconcious when you were born’. She was implying I was switched at the hospital. I have her nose that I absolutely hate so I was sure I was hers but even so a little bit of doubt. It came back as me being a full sibling to my sister - phew! Strangly my origins are quite different to hers, I am 75% English and she is 95%. Our tree is very boring.
I have a friend who was told my her mum that her dad is not her dad when she was 18. She had an affair with an Italian and she never told her dad he wasn’t the father. She recently did a DNA and came up with a half sibling in Italy. She was trying to pluck up courage to contact him but has now change her mind. She may do it later.
Peaches I don’t think I could live with anyone else. I loved staying at my sons for 2 nights. I keep teasing him saying I would move in but after a week he would really get on my nerves. Nope - I don’t want anyone messing up my home.
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Music is all it takes Nigel to set us off, its hard when you like listening to music to not listen, a bit like self inflicted torture in a way so sad xxx
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Lizzy I will answer to any of the names, I only spoke about it because I felt a fraud using that name as we all became friends, but it was used in memory of my husband not any other reason so if you want to use Georgi thats fine too xx
Debsie I hope your feeling better, I may find out as I move down the long list of messages lol xx
Nigel we all feel like that, some days its so fresh it does feel like yesterday and others we cope better, its in our heads or down to just how we feel on any day, or who we are interacting with that day !
Nigel you’re so quick at picking things up, clever you, I was unaware I had done that or I would have corrected it at the time ! Our very own Private Detective, or maybe others also noticed at the time xxx
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