Two years on and feeling his loss this winter

Losing a partner
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Hi Everyone!

  1. Not been here for a while but I need to offload somewhere so here I am. I am just about 2 and half years in from losing my husband to bowel cancer in June 2023. I am really feeling his loss this winter. The first one ironically I was fine better than I thought I would be and last year (my 2nd without him) wasn’t too bad either but this year?? Just don’t know what it is. I am thinking because a few big life events have happened this year and he has not been here to see them. Our son got married in February this year and the birth of our 2nd grandchild happened just last month in October both events he hasn’t been here to see. As some of you say here I just feel as though I am existing now biding my time until its time for me to go. there are people here who still rely on me my older sister for one she has various health issues going on. She beat cancer twice ironically but also has learning difficulties and is currently waiting on heart surgery. My son and daughter in law rely on me too for obviously granny/babysitting duties of that I don’t really mind though. I just can’t even think of Christmas but will try and make an effort for the wee ones. I do try my best to fill my days as much as possible but sometimes the whole effort just seems pointless. My son and daughter in law live not far from me but I feel I never seem to feel included in their lives as to what is going on which is none of my business really its their lives and what they do. Little things though like my little granddaughter recently had a parents evening she just started school in August and this happened several weeks ago and I only got to find out about it last week. She got a good report but had that been me with my son, I would have been on the phone to tell my late father (his grandad) because he doted on him and always wanted the best for him growing up. It just feels as though my family are strangers to me now now that my husband has gone. Sorry if I am rambling but I just needed to offload.
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Hi @VIP2162 ,

Thank you so much for sharing this with the community :blue_heart: I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.

Take good care,
Alex

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Hi @VIP2162 , I am sorry for all that you’re going through, I am also battling with loneliness, I understand how you feel, & most of the posts i have read here,are of people battling with grief & loneliness the same way we’re doing, we became strangers in eyes of our own people. Whenever I feel my heart getting disturbed I come here & read posts of people crying like me & i pass time,it’s now 12:50am but I can’t sleep .

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