Typing my feelings

Losing a partner
1

Mornings are hard. I keep forgetting you aren’t here.

I reach over to hold you and the bed is empty and cold

I took for granted you’d always be there to hold.

26 years I knew you, so many ups and downs

but you were the love of my life

I feel I let you down

I didn’t listen enough

you needed me so badly and I pushed you away

for that I’ll always live with regret that you aren’t here today.

Depression creeps in when you least expect it

like a shadow hiding in the corners of the house

waiting to consume you

when you’re vulnerable

and in need of human contact and conversation.

Covid didn’t help us, it took away your joy

Your sight was poor, you had severe pain in your body

everything you loved was slowly erased.

Movies, work, walking, reading.

My heart broke for you every day.

Our daughter was your only light, you were so very proud

She misses you every day, I wish you could see her now.

My own grief took hold of me, and left no room for you,

I’m so very sorry I wasn’t there for you.

I’ll love you always and forever my beautiful boy.

x

4 Likes
2

Hi. Summer. I think every sentence you have written will be echoed by those on here. It is a heartfelt plea for some sort of understanding. It’s so good that you can unload your deep feelings on here. It’s what it’s all about. You don’t need sympathy but empathy. To feel others feel as you do gives just a little comfort. Your pain is self evident.
There is a tinge of guilt in your post. None of us are perfect and hindsight is best left alone. I am sure we could all have done better. My old school reports come to mind. ‘He could do better if he tried’. We all could have done better, but how do we know at the time.
You have moved me almost to tears because it’s coming up to two years since my wife died. But it’s OK. I get a bit down now and then but I cope.
Thank you for showing us all how you feel. Grief can override all other feelings and we may feel that we have lost the love we had. That’s not possible. Love can never be lost even in passing.
Be kind to yourself and take some comfort in the fact we are all here for you. Blessings. John.

2 Likes
3

Hi Summer I had Eileen for 26 years and your words mirror my thoughts ,I worked full time because J had to ,in hindsight I should have stayed home and at least kept Eileen company ,she was on pain and lonely but I thought she was ok ,we needed money to live but now that isn’t important anymore and I would give anything to see her back with me ,I would so do things differently if I had another chance ,miracles don’t happen so I no I won’t see her again ,your poem has got me in tears even though the words are true ,all the best in your journey
Steve

4

What a beautiful,piece to put together.
You should feel very proud you have written that and y s hindsight is a wonderful thing but we cannot alter it.
I am sure you did what you could at the time but you,were suffering as well watching the pain and suffering and feeling helpless.
Please don’t beat yourself up you are grieving and that is enough to deal with.
Take Care.

5

Dear Lady, I am so sorry for your loss - I feel the same way about how you wrote this up about your spouse. I feel the same way about my departed and lovely wife. I cannot say any more except you have touched my life with your feelings - I feel the same about my wife too. You touched my heart dear lady!
Herb