Unable to move on since losing my Dad

I lost my Dad now almost 4 years ago. Me and my Dad were very close, I adored my Dad and looked up to him. My children also loved their grandad and spent hours and hours of quality time with him and they too miss him a lot. Since losing my Dad, I feel that I just can’t move on, I feel that I have changed so much as a person and a huge part of me and who I was has gone as if a part of me has died inside . My husband has been great and really supportive but he too has noticed how sad I get at times, Does anybody else feel like this ?

Hi,

I lost my Dad over 20 years ago and my Mum more recently. I think about them both everyday. I thought I would never get over the loss of my Dad. I have been told I looked as if my world had caved in, it had and did again when Mum passed away. All I can say is I reached a sense of acceptance about Dad and am slowly doing that with Mum. One thing that helped me was going on holiday to a place Dad always wanted to go to and never managed. I was there for the second anniversary of his passing and though very sad it really helped me.

You have a lovely supportive husband which is great. Just keep taking each day as it comes and talk about your Dad to your children so they never forget their Grandpa and how special he was in their lives.

Take care
Mel

I read an interesting point on a Sue Ryder article called “how can I cope bereavement”:
The aim is not to get back to normal. It is about understanding how your life has changed and being able to reach a better balance between the good days and bad days.
Our bereavement changes us irrevocably and it does take time for us as individuals to become when we need to be to move on. Realising that is helping me move on as well as forgetting all those questions that have no answers.

The rightness of what we need to do comes to us slowly over time. Reaching out to people here and at home is another good thing and I’m sure in time your children and husband will be invaluable to you in moving on.

Your future is now more than ever with your family and sharing with them all you used to share with your father will help. Along with the entire family remembering the good times whenever you are together. That’s the bit I really love.

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Greyone,

your message is lovely and certainly something I can take forward for myself. Thank you so much. Yes remembering the good times is what I love too.

Mel

I lost my Dad 18 months ago. He was my best friend. I loved him to distraction and miss him greatly. I cannot move on and do not think that I want to. I feel that I have changed as a person and not in the best way. I feel dead inside. I have a heavy feeling in my chest that does not go away. I feel the need to cry constantly. Someone today asked me that they had not seen my Dad and is he still around? That started me off. So to answer your question yes I feel as you describe and how I will cope with feeling like this for the rest of my life I do not know. Love xxx

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