I’m lying here in bed, day 26 without my beautiful 24 year old son, wondering how I am going to live my life without him. He was and is the light of my life. The grief I feel is immense. Every part of my body aches and my head feels like it is going to explode with the enormity of it all. How is it possible to get back any sort of normality?
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I don’t have the words to express how truly sorry I am for your loss. Our children shouldn’t go before us. An unbearable grief. Sending a huge hug x
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I am so sorry for your loss. I can understand exactly the agony you are going through, as my precious son died aged 33 at the end of November. 21 weeks on and I still think of him constantly and cry throughout the day and night. At least now I can talk about him and look at photos of him without falling apart. I am gradually planning more things to do with my time, which helps to take my mind off the awfulness of what has happened. I would say don’t expect to do anything much in the first few months. I wrapped myself up in a fleece or took myself off to bed, and just cried and cried. Make sure you eat at least something, even if it’s just a biscuit, and consider accepting whatever help is offered by friends and family. However you may find you just want to be on your own, which is the way I was. I wanted to stay in my home and think about my son in peace and quiet, so in the early days I didn’t accept offers of coffee, a chat, or walks, from concerned friends. Gradually you might feel like venturing out into society again, but it can take a long time. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks and just do what feels right for you. If you want to stay in bed all day and cry, then do that. I know how difficult it is to find the motivation to get up in the morning. There seems to be no point in anything any more. Losing a child is the worst thing, like having a part of yourself ripped away. There is no magic wand to put things to rights and nobody can really help you as you walk this difficult and lonely path, but please keep posting on this forum and you will receive compassion from people who really understand.
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I’m so very sorry for your loss. I was told that grief is as intense as falling in love, I believe this to be true. We grieve hard, we loved fiercely xxx keep posting, it does help a little
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I think one of the hardest parts of losing our son, is seeing my husband sobbing. He tries to hold it together for me but every so often , the grief overwhelms him, and he sobs so hard it’s heartbreaking. I just want this nightmare to end.
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Hi Letty im so so sorry for your loss of your beautiful boy. Theres no words but you are in so much shock and trauma . You wake thinking is it real . I dont know the circumstances . I lost my boy 4 years today the journey is a rollercoaster but i have to say coming on here has helped me so much the lost son at 27 so many people on that stream … nothing makes sense im so sorry sending you peace and love 
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Hi Zoe
I just can’t get my head around it all. My lovely son was a healthy 24 year old. He went to sleep and just never woke up. The post mortem was unassertainable so will probably be put down to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome.
I just feel that I should have protected him in some way - that’s what mums are for after all.
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Its 19 weeks for me this Wednesday since my son, 35, fell asleep so suddenly. A part of me went with him. I cry every day, i long to hear his voice and see him again. The pain is getting worse every day i am getting further away from him. Life is absolute hell and cant see a way forward at all. 
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Hi Zoe I’m so sorry for the loss of your son it’s truly heartbreaking. I’m 11 weeks in since losing my 31 year old daughter . Every day is a nightmare to get through . I wonder how I will be able to get through the rest of my life without her the thought is terrifying. The tears are like streams most of the day . Sending you lots of love xx
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Hi i hate to say but the pain is total shock in the beginning your amazing if uou just get out of bed in the morning just do uou dont worry about anything its a rollercoaster ride uou still think your babies will walk through the door .i needed sleeping tablets and i will admit ive took antidepressants for many years takes the edge of all this horrible pain come on and just rant say anything you feel .lifes so cruel its not right thinking of you im sorry youve joined this wicked journey xxx
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Such kind words its a journey i didnt want to go on. Im taking sleeping tablets. I miss my boy so very much i want him back xx
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Thats all we want our babies back .theres nothing i can say to make it ok. But just cry when you want .people just get on with there lifes they dont get it but we are living this nightmare.all i can say you wont always wake with that fear is it real .your body cant stay in that shock trauma you feel. It will feel easier than it is right now sending big hugs
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It will be 11 months for me on the 10th May, this time last year we had no idea of just how sick Hollie was. I’ve had a very rough few days as I find myself constantly going over this period at the moment . A picture from many years ago popped up on my FB, lovely picture of Hol dancing in a inflatable duck costume. I smiled. Then it hit me. I only have memories now, I’ll never have the opportunity to make such wonderful, funny memories again with her. I cried until I exhausted myself. I had been doing okish, now I’m back at the bottom, thank the stars for this group xxx
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I’m so sorry, I lost my Son last year, age 30. We are waiting for the inquest but so far nothing has been found -SADs. The shock and trauma is too much. I relive it everyday. Can’t believe this can happen. How can fit and healthy young adults just stop. Have you heard of Cardiac Risk in the Young? cRY uk. They are so supportive and have bereavement support for mums, dads and siblings. They are an amazing charity that I have used a lot and don’t know where I’d be without them. The pain is the worst and it doesn’t end. I’m so sorry.
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The saddest thing that can happen to a parent is them outgrowing their kids. If you have close family members or relatives, with whom you can spend some days, please do that. Take your time to heal. I am truly sorry for your loss. I pray to the GOD to give you the strength to wake up everyday and face it.
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We all want our lives back but equally we know that’s not possible…However, it’s so comforting to hear from others who are also walking with us on this very surreal journey. We’re all swimmers but sometimes we need a lifeboat and I have found this website hugely comforting. Equally, I have also found that the chats around bereavement on YouTube’s TED are quite inspirational. Fellow grievers helping us realise that what we’re feeling is very ‘normal’…There is one particular lady whose son sadly died in 2021. Her name is Suzanne Jabour. I hope this message is of some use and wishing everybody who finds themselves here, much love….
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Dear Friends
We have tragically joined the most dreaded community in the world - grieving parents. And we are everywhere across the world.
Our beloved daughter died six months ago after a short illness aged 42.
I have now accepted that life as we knew it (and took for granted) has gone forever. We will never be the same. This deep wound in our all of our hearts will leave a scar that is - forever tender. Ive decided to treasure this scar like a warrior
Yes - I need to function but I don’t want or indeed need “time to heal” And Ive actually come to hate that cliche!
But, in practicing compassion, I am trying to channel the anger of my loss into determination. I want to honour my daughter by living my life as she lived hers - with gratitude for this precious (and fragile) gift of life.
What helps me and might help others?
Giving time and space just to grieve (alone and with others)
Nourish the body - its grieving as much as the mind.
Talk to our lost loved one(s) tell them how you feel and ask for their guidance and support with grief. (I know this might sound nuts but its really helped me)
I hope you can feel the shared love within the words of all those here in this community
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I lost my youngest son aged 35 suddenly 19 weeks ago, life just isn’t the same and never will be. I miss my boy more than words, i long to hear him and give him a big hug. The pain is horrendous. I have him home with me and i talk to him all the time, his photos are everywhere i look. I just want him back
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Navajo
I echo you!!! I yearn to see my daughter with all my heart but I know this isn’t going to be possible for a long time, I am trying so very hard to be how she liked me to be, laughing, messing around with her, doing daft dances. We were so very close, her additional needs were also mine as we did everything together.
I am yet to laugh properly, it’s so sad to live like this , my days have a horrible monotony to them. I do know I owe it to her most amazing memory to carry on for her dad, brothers and sister and I’m doing that. However, I do have times of overwhelming grief which I don’t fight any more, grief is as consuming as love . It will be 11 months on the 10th May, this period is hideous as this time last year I still had hope. My love to all who are enduring this
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My beautiful boy died at the age of 28 from bowel cancer, he didn’t smoke do drugs or drink much. I was with him , through everything, from the QE, SAYING yes we ca we can’t remove the tumour. His dad and sister carried on going to work. I was the one to tell him he was dying, because he asked me straight out and not lie to him. It was the worst moment of my life. He was my best friend, I’m not just saying that.
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