I lost my 17 years older husband coming up to two years ago after 30 wonderful years together. For him at 93 it was time to go. He was increasingly frail and almost totally blind, but still very sharp, and hoped never to be subject to the worst indignities of old age. I was glad he got his wish to die peacefully at home among family and friends. But I simply cannot get over my loss and am in constant pain and loneliness. Far from recovering, having had to downsize, I live in a mess, and pine away. At first I’d hoped it might ease over time, but it’s still unbearable, and I have no will to help myself out of it. Family are too busy to help. My best friend also died, last summer, and other friends are not near. I am on antidepressants and counselling, and do try to go out. But really, I can no longer see any point to my continued existence. Everything I valued most has gone and I’m stranded like rubbish on the beach after a storm.
I’m very sorry for your loss, it’s very painful and grief is not only in our hearty but also we can get sick physically. Be kind to yourself, try not to rush the process, there is no timeline to grief. I have lost my partner after 21 years together, he died at age 39 years old, suddenly. For me it has been a little over one month, but his all belongings are around me and I still don’t won’t to clear it. It was his home too, I miss him so much every day. Some days can be better some days really bad, but I guess we need to go through them, for me each day is closer until I meet him again. Here for you if need a chat. Sending hugs 
You are so kind. I am struggling more with every passing day. I really don’t know what to do, but just plod on. 
Is there anything you like to do, maybe reading a book? Rescue a puppy? I have 2 big dogs and thanks to them I met my friend in a park. And having dogs giving me a purpose to leave a house. But that’s me, you try to find something what’s make you happy. It’s easier to said I know especially when we fill tired all the time.
Thanks very much for your kind thought. I’m ashamed to say I lack the drive to do anything atm. It’s as much as I can do most days to keep myself clean, dressed and fed. I’m like a puppet whose strings have been cut.
How are you today?
Still struggling. Meditating. Crying. Trying to put one foot in front of the other.
Thank you for asking. 
Hello Rocking. I am the same as you having lost my husband of 54 years nearly three years ago to dementia. i moved soon after he died (mistake) as my 2 sons encouraged me to move near to them; I was only 7 miles away before but they assured me i would feel better being near them. But they lead their own lives and am so dreadfully lonely as I see no more of them and know nobody where I now live which is a very quiet area with nothing going on except the local gym and I am 82 so that’s no use to me. I have a very old dog but now she is struggling but without her I would be lost… family are so busy and daughter in laws are not like daughters so I can sympathise with you greatly. if only people could realise that to lose someone so close to us and would make an effort to try and understand.
Rocking, So sorry for your loss. I am the same. 2 years ago since I lost my darling hubby of 49 years of marriage. I miss him so so much but do try to keep busy. I get so lonely. I do go to a couple of meetings/ chat clubs for bereaved persons but it is the evening that are the worse. He had been very ill for quite a few years and his quality of life wasnt very good so I think he just gave up. He always said he didnt want me to see him die. He got his wish as I didnt get to the hospital in time but I get so angry with him for not waiting which I know is silly but it hurts so much that I never got to say so many things. I still love him so much. Ann x
I still keep plodding on. Get up in the morning. Go to bed at night. Try to do something useful in the day. Often just mope. I feel as though I’ve had my will power surgically removed. I’m so ashamed of my helplessness. But the shame does not help me to pull myself together to do something useful. After all with my husband gone and my children being so busy, there seems little point anyway.