Unexpected death of friend's young brother

In the early hours of this morning I heard from my Italian friend, who has been a huge support throughout my own very recent bereavement, that her 17-year-old brother died in a road traffic accident in Italy.

I cannot imagine what she is going through right now. This month has been awful for us both.

How do we recover …?

Barnet, how horrible for you both. It’s not easy recovering from such tragic events and these things don’t go away but somehow life does go on and the awareness of things become less as our brains become accustom to them. I would recommend counselling for both of you after a couple of months, there is a time delay before counselling is practical. Hopefully your Italian friend will be offered counselling by the police due to it being a road traffic accident. I am sending blessings to you both. Take care. S xx

Dear Susiem,

Many thanks for your reply and suggestions. In Italy, it is very much the role of the family to support each other and counsel one another. Although counsellors do exist, from personal experience they are not used that much. The funeral is very quick, usually done within a few days, but it is after the funeral that the pain and anguish truly kicks in. I am really worried how much this will affect my friend. On a selfish note, I am going to miss her and she may well be in Italy the whole summer. This plus losing my partner is going to make grieving even worse. I can quite happily strike the month of June from the calendar. What an awful month it has been!

On a more positive note, with whatsapp we can phone each other daily. It also offers a video chat option so I can see how my friend is getting on. I am going to miss her so much!

I understand fully regarding the differences in culture regarding death, our youngest son lives in Greece.
Yes using technology to keep in touch is good just not quite the same. The only thing I can say is summer will soon be over. Please think about your own mental health regarding counselling, ok it’s not for everyone or works for everyone but being able to talk to someone who listens is useful. Remember we are always here for and members of the community will always support you. Perhaps you can visit her and enjoy extra the sunshine and life style. Like Greece life is so different then here.
Take care S xxx

I must admit, the thought of visiting her in Italy has crossed my mind. I could do with some distance from my current situation, away from the house.

I have not been back to Italy since my mum died in 2005.

Just one word

Planning my trip already.

I am off to my beloved’s funeral in about 30 minutes. I really did not want to get out of bed this morning. I am not looking forward to it one little bit.

And I dread the thought of what I will feel like it afterwards. On my mind is also the death of my friend’s young brother. She and her family must be going through hell right now.

Think about the future if you can. My thoughts, prayers and blessings are well you. S xx