Useful Reading

I find that reading about the grief of others who have lost a partner really comforting in that I feel less alone in my grief and more understood - of course that’s partly why we are in this forum. I have also read a lot of books since Julian died in July of this year and am currently reading ‘Why Not Me?’ by Barbara Want. This book is helping me because her husband, like Julian, had a sarcoma and the two of them went through very similar experiences to us during the lead up to diagnosis (the torture of waiting for results from various scans and biopsies), the unexpected relief when finally getting a diagnosis (partly because we still had hope for a cure at that stage) but then renewed fear when the day of surgery loomed. That is as far as I have got but I do know that her husband, like mine, didn’t survive. Julian had surgery which was deemed successful but then the cancer returned and he died 6 weeks later. I said that reading of similar experiences was comforting but obviously it is also torturous to relive my own experiences as a result. For me, however, recounting the worst 9 months of my life (and no doubt his) from October last year when he was diagnosed until July when he died has become a necessary part of my grief. I need to let those emotions out or possibly suffer with my mental health later.
Do people have books or other types of reading materials that they have found useful?

Hello Lucy, I feel for your loss and i think if you read a few of Gary Roe books on Grief they will help enormously. Try Grief Walk (make sure it is by him as there are similar titles) Also by him is Comfort for the Grieving Spouses Heart and How will I cope with the holidays. I’ve read them all on Kindle and been very comforted by them. Hope this helps.

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Thank you Jean. I will have a look

Hello Lucy1, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. My husband also died of Sarcoma this year, in May, so I know what you have been through and what you are feeling. I found a book by Joan Didion called “The Year of Magical Thinking” which was about the loss of her husband. I found it curiously helpful to read what someone else had gone through. I feel as though it would be really helpful to be able to chat to someone who understands what I am feeling but of course this Covid 19 business has put an end to meeting face to face. It is a lonely time for sure. I wish there were something I could offer to bring you comfort but know that I am thinking of you.

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Thank you Flo.
If you feel like chatting on here, I’ll be listening.
As for me, I have days when I’m feeling positive about what I will do during my life without Julian, and days when I miss him so much that I find it hard to breathe. The book I mentioned had the same effect for me as yours did for you; I need to know that someone else has experienced the horrors that I have, as well as the lighter moments that helped us through.

Hi Lucy, thanks for your reply. It would be great to chat online with someone who understands what Sarcoma is like. Weirdly I seem to be here under the name of Flo, I have no idea how that happened, my real name is Sara. I have ordered the book you recommended.

And I’m Sharon - but that’s our little secret :slightly_smiling_face:

Not any longer! I think this is a public forum. I thought there was a way to send a private message but I can’t see that now.

To send a Personal Message click on the person’s icon in the top left corner (which has a photo or their initial) and that takes you to a page where you can send a personal message

Thanks Richard. I did know that it’s a public forum- it was my joke - I don’t mind people knowing my real name

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