using it as an excuse??!

i have a lovely boyfriend…who has been absolutely supportive, kind and generous the whole time i have been preoccupied with my Dad’s ilness and now his death. this has been ongoing since June 2016

lately he has become rather distant and said that I’ve changed…more snappy and “not as bubbley as I used to be…” were his exact words

we had a slight falling out over misunderstood text messages (easy enough to do) and when i tried to explain to him as to why i had that sense of humour malfunction that day and why i was not my usual diplomatic articulate witty self was because “my dad had died” and i notice that i’ve been saying this a lot…to explain myself to a lot of people especially my boyfriend when i’m upset, or in a bad mood, or crying uncontrollably or have a bad neck, cant’ sleep…had vertigo…got a headache…eating far too much…etc etc etc

he and i had a heart to heart chat about this last night and he said i have been taking it out on him…this really upsets me !

i don’t know how to deal with this…

Hi jude im guessing your boyfriend has both parents alive c? or hasnt lost a parent to death ?.If so its like telling a blindman to explain what your seeing .If im wrong then im at a loss tbh Colin

He has lost both parents over 25 years ago…

Hya jude i totally get where your coming from , i feel me & my boyfriend have drifted apart too , like yours my otherhalf was so supportive while my mom was ill and helping me care for her at home till she passed , but since then i have found that at my hardest times like xmas my birthday in january and moms feb also now with mothers day looming it feels like hes insesitive , we never argued before but since november its all we have done , but this started due to when we was on a night out he snogged my friend not realising i was standing right behind them , so of course amongst my grief i am totally insecure in my 5yr relationship , he knows how i feel and have told him if after our jollys in june i feel the same i will be calling it a day , i dont want to make any quick decisions now as im worried my grief is overshadowing my feelings and i keep thinking how fond my mom was of him , so for now im concentrating on getting myself through all my 1st anniversarys , hope this has helped you understand your feelings , big hugz xxx