Valentines Day

Valentines Day. Oh Lordy, this is going to be a tough and lonely one. Theresa , my partner of 20yrs was Diagnosed with Pacreatic cancer last Valentines Day. We had got our Evening planned with Fish and Chips and a bottle of wine,and then we got the phone call. Boom. She passed away May 27th. Got through Her Birthday in November and Christmas in a Fashion, so i wonder what sunday will bring.

Hi I am dreading valentine’s day. My first with out my lovely husband who made so much of valentine’s day. So many romantic meals and flowers over all our years together.
I will be taking a red rose to place by the cross on his grave .
My way of saying I am thinking of him ,mark the occasion and saying thank you for all he gave to me.
I feel for you . The day will hold great sadness because of the memories of last year as well as facing life with out her.
Maybe try and forget, if you can,what the day is , or mark it with something positive to let her know you are thinking of her.
Christmas was terrible. I lost my husband end of October and had to spend the day on my own.
Being bereaved this year makes it worse. So, so lonely.
Will think of you on Sunday. Many will be unable to celebrate because our loved one is sadly no longer with us.
Take care. Annt


Hi Twitcher1965–aren’t these special days hard–its also my first Valentines day on my own for 30 yrs and I just don’t know how to deal with it . Weekends are bad enough now without this added extra ! I guess it will come and go and hopefully we will do something to honour our loved one and keep ourselves sane as well ! @Annt that’s a lovely thing to take a red rose to your husbands grave. I have been trying not to think about it but now the thought has brought tears to my eyes as it just emphasises our loss. I must think of something special to do to honour my husband too --it will be a hard day for us all but we are all here for each other x

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I didnt think I would be this bad but I’m so upset. I’d kinda forgotten v day but my mum and stepdad took me for a walk to the gardens next to the Crematorium today. I really wish I hadn’t gone. I didnt feel closer to my husband anymore… don’t think I’ll ever go there again.

Couples everywhere… I don’t care too much i told myself as I dont want to be any couple like they all are I want my René. That can never happen again. I tried to concentrate on feeding the birds and looking around at the big sky but I just couldn’t wait to get home and now I’m typing through my tears… how can this be…how can it be…

I think I’ve been kidding myself. I can’t do this. not coz of v day but anyway.

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Hi Annt I’m just the same lost my lovely husband last April while walking our dogs he just collapsed and died, life is not the same I’ve just come from hospital after having a minor op for some skin cancer oh how I missed him being there to pick me up and tomorrow Valentine’s Day I will think of all the happy memories we shared over the years sending love to all x

Dear FleurDeLis,

My heart goes out to you. I know what you mean, noticing couples out and about ,but there are a lot of us on our own too.
I get no comfort from David’s grave , I go there occasionally knowing it’s his final resting place on earth and take flowers.
I believe the soul lives on. Love never perishes.
We will get through. Its hard. It’s not called the valley of tears for nothing. Reach out for help . Glad you posted your message.
I presume your loss is recent . Mine is and I have cried so many tears every day for last few months.
Will be thinking of you xx


I’m so sorry . David was very ill for many years ,but it must have been a dreadful shock for you as you lost your husband so suddenly.
We do miss them when there are times, like you have now , where they would have been there for us .
I had a reaction to my vaccination this morning and they got me a cab home. I longed for my husband to be here to take me home and be there for me.
I burst into tears when I got in . Felt so alone.
Take care , remember the happy times you shared,
Hope your treatment is successful. X

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I suppose i should feel blessed that we never celebrated Valentines Day, it was a bit too commercial and made up for us. (No offence to those who celebrated it, it was just how we felt)

Who invented Valentine’s Day anyway? Cupid? Or Cadbury?


Know what you mean Riley, we rarely celebrated either, Mark often bought treats and flowers for me, and never a day went by we didn’t say love you to each other, even a bit grudgingly if we’d had a row!! But I am feeling it today, flowers by his photo and a candle lit, but it does feel very empty and sad.

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Its named after St Valentine the saint of lovers .
Like Christmas it is what you make it . They are both too commercialised but you dont have to spend a fortune. Its celebrating your love for each other that holds meaning.

We loved every day and special occasions my rose balloon to my husband Mick



Wow thank you for sharing that photo. It is beautiful.
Made me cry .xx

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We never did presents and told each other every day we loved each other. I’m less than a month into this new life. Everything feels strange


Sorry for your loss sorry it made you cry I cry a lot I look at the balloon and cry x

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Sorry for your loss what a beautiful photo very hard 11 months on and every second I miss my husband
Sending love x

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Beautiful photo. It’s so short a time since you lost your husband. Well done for being brave enough to post your tribute to him. How lovely.
Like you we had no children. My heart goes out to you.

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I seem to cry a lot …it doesnt take much
I took my red rose to his grave this afternoon.
Its lovely for all of us to share our precious memories and remember our loved ones , here
We all marked the occasion in different ways.
I dont feel so alone now.

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Know the feelings hard journey I have a son at home but due to move out end of the month it’s very lonely and will be worst when he goes but they have there life’s to lead. I have Mick’s ashes at home I always put a rose or flowers by his side for occasions
Like you say it’s lovely to share our memories on here not a lot understand
Take care x

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Hi Trac

I really feel for you and do understand all about the overwhelming grief.

Prior to our loved ones passing the phras soul mate is never quite felt within our souls until there not with us any more. Its like a part of us has gone to.

It was 3 months to the day yesterday my beloved wife passed away and I still feel so useless without her in every possible way that you can think. It would have been 29 years together at end of this month. Missing her so much in being beside or around me in my life breaks me down to my knees still. Like you said about the memories, there’s always a moment or something that reminds me of her every single day and I wouldn’t never want that to go, but at the same time I always flood to with the tears and then start to feel so empty sad again with the heart ache that she’s never coming back.

Iv always been hands on in and around the house which she knew some men would never do and she loved me for it. Even now when I’m ironing, cooker cleaning etc, I still feel her presence behind me that she’s observing and checking which makes me smile right the way though me. Oh how much I miss her input with everything I do. Every thing I did in our lives together was for her, and hers for me. and every time I’m doing something now I still do it if as im doing it for her which in a crazy way makes me feel good.

I believe that we can all relate to each others feeling and heart ache as iv done reading on this site, but I also believe that the only people that will ever know how we really feel Trac is our selfs.

July might sound along time ago for some people Trac, but the fact is its not. Its still so fresh still and I really wish you well and always here like other on this site if ever you want to open up more and chat.

Take care
Derv xx

ps I had tried to send this message to you a few days ago but was not sure if it had gone . so apologies if you received it twice.