Valentine's Day

I just wanted to say that me and my husband never did Valentine’s Day. We always said that we didn’t need a special day to show our love for each other. Every day was a day filled with love…
Our love for each other continues…

I really hope this helps those of you who are dreading tomorrow. Much love xx

Kate, Alan and I were the same, we never exchanged cards, we didn’t need to. Also when you consider it was initially to declare the love of a secret admirer. Now so commercialised, it’s put pressure on people to celebrate it.

It will be another custom, for those who did celebrate it, to feel their loss even more.

We didn’t exchange Christmas, birthday or anniversary cards either, we didn’t need to. We both knew how we felt. I know not everyone thinks or feels the way we did and I hope their day goes as well as it can do. Thankfully for me, tomorrow is just another day.


I did it as a teenager. Never realised it was for adults as well. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


Oh, Eileen and I exchanged birthday, Christmas and anniversary cards, double the number you might expect because we sent them from the dogs too.
For a long time we sent apparently anonymous Valentines cards too.

Usually there was a funny, loving, teasing rhyme written inside, so long as the muse was upon us, so we avoided cards with verse already printed and bought “Card Blank for your Own Message” versions.

We laughed at the rhymes, and kissed each other, and hugged, and we were both going to live forever. Oh, but how they make me cry when I read them now.

We didn’t either, Kate. Before the event he’d say, ‘we’re not bothering with cards are we’… obviously just checking I hadn’t bothered. Always made me laugh!

Just another day for me too.

Hugs though for those of you who made more of it x

We always sent cards, and I sometimes got flowers. We’d go out for a meal, but being a Yorkshire man, not on the night cos they charged more!!
I had to go to Tesco this afternoon and it was heaving with men buying Valentines stuff. I tried not to think too deeply about it and just carried on but bumped into a cousin of my husband at the end of my shop. I hadn’t seen him since my darlings memorial and since then his mum has died. I don’t know him well but he asked me how I was and I could feel the lip starting to go. My usual reply is “rubbish” or similar and we chatted about his mums widower. He flung his arms around me and we beat a retreat. My mood had been buoyant this morning because I’d started swimming and had a lunch out with dear friends but the ghosts of Valentines past, present and future has caught up with me. Roll out the tissues.

Hi Belladoo, I lost my lovely husband 11 weeks ago tomorrow. We did cards and all ways went out for a meal. I told him not to buy me roses because they were always overpriced for valentines day. I have still got George a card, which I had personalised and I have bought some roses to put beside it, as much for myself as for George. I am really dreading tomorrow, nothing will ever be the same again. Take care xx

Hello Day at a Time. I couldn’t put it any better than that, I agree. Xx

Ha, my husband used to say the same. Xx

Today will be my first Valentine’s day without my Bekoved Kathy,and to me it just feels like another day. She loved the flowers and cards,she was a true romantic at heart and I will miss that always. Today is a first of many special days that I will miss without her by my side…VslValentine’s,Anniverssry (25 February) Birthdays both mine and hers,and Christmas and New Year because we loved sitting watching the New year fireworks on Sky News. But,even though I will be on my own for those special days she will always be in my heart and my thoughts so I won’t look on those days with sadness,I will cherish the memories they left me to remember her by. And there will ALWAYS be flowers for my Angel on those days.

I’m sat at the foot of Tilberthwaite Gill on a perfect Lakeland spring morning. The water is crashing down nearby and another group of kids are setting off for a bit of gorge scrambling. There are hounds yapping higher up the fell and I’ve heard them since leaving Coniston. I’ve passed people tracking them on screens.
It’s not quite the same as my first love but this is my second love. I would defy anyone not to feel an uplift in spirits were they sat where I am. Time to move on to Elterwater then my wife’s favourite tearooms at Skelwith Bridge and some coffee and cake. I think my wife would approve this plan.

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So much respect for you YorkshireLad and your ability to face this stuff that we desperately don’t want to be happening, head on…

Thanks for replying. I hope your day is better than you think it’s going to be.
I’ve had a little cry just now - I just miss him so much. Whatever the day.
Tonight I’ve got friends over for a casual meal so that should keep me occupied enough but whatever you do it’s never quite the same is it? I’m nearly 19 weeks now so a little longer along the road than you. It’s still dreadful and sadly I can’t seem to believe it’ll get better but I’m told by some that it will. If I really think about it I have made improvements but it’s a crappy journey.
I wish you peace, x

It takes effort and no little will to do it. I think over time it does become easier. My wife never wanted us to suffer with Small Life Syndrome, she was always pushing O to do things. I’m in a Shearings Hotel and it’s full of elderly people. A bit like a Deaths Waiting Room. It’s made me focus on how important it is to use whatever ability I’ve got to do things.
I’ve read comments by people who are envious of elderly couples. I just pity elderly couples and their battle to keep going. I couldn’t imagine us as an elderly couple. I do envy the young couples I see in the outdoors, avoiding the shopping centres and garden centres.
I’m six months on now and, as my wife kept telling me, I have everything I need to make the most of my life, and it would be so wrong if I didn’t. I feel it would dishonour her wishes and her memory.
It happened and nothing I want or do is ever going to change that. This I know.

You always put into,words what we all feel. Even though we did not celebrate valentines as my husband used to say we loved each other every day not just one day a year. However,when friends are celebrating Valentine’s Day it still makes it hard. I miss him so much just want this pain to ease even a little bit xxx

No no, Belladoo. It doesn’t get better but as it’s been said before, you get better at it… There’s definitely a difference.

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